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Tales of a Lost Jedi (OPEN)

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  • Tales of a Lost Jedi (OPEN)

    The Jedi Temple on Tython sat still, and peaceful amongst the forest floor at the base of the ice capped mountains above. Stone pillars stretched up into the sky, just peaking out from the tips of the lush, leaf covered trees, covered almost head to toe with vines and moss. The setting sun lit the sky up in bright hues of orange, red, pinks and purples. Stone steps led away from the Temple and up the mountains, where stone statues of past Masters lined the stairs, their facial features warn away into oblivion, their names forgotten to time.

    Save for one.

    A lone figure walked down the mountain steps, and towards the stone building of the Temple. Strands of long pink hair flowed out from under the light grey robe that she wore. She moved about the old building with familiarity, grabbing food and sustenance from storage cabinets and boxes. With a flick of her wrist, a small fire appeared in a designated fire pit feet from the room the woman used to sleep in.

    There was a bedroll in the corner, a bag of supplies and clothing nest to it, and two lightsaber hilts that sat on a table across the room. Beneath the table, locked away was the bright pink cloak the woman was once known for wearing.

    Sitting on a stone step, feeling the heat of the flames warm her body, the woman, now in her mid-thirties stared upwards at the colour filled sky, now filling with stars one by one. She let out a heavy sigh and contemplated her life choices, and if she could have done better.

    N’yssa Farifax had lived what some may say a fulfilled life, an adventurous life, or even a good life. She joined the Jedi at sixteen and rose through the ranks. She trained students, supported her Masters, fought for life and light amongst the darkness.

    She had loved, and lost.

    Lost so much.

    Familiar faces around the Temple on Yavin grew fewer and farther between. Students left and never returned. Her own Master, that taught her so much, had a tendency to never stay at the Temple for long, until he too ceased to return.

    At first, N’yssa understood, accepted that the Force had its way and moved on. However, as of late she began to doubt. After loosing so many, what could she have done differently? Could she have been more available to her students? Become a comfort to those who struggle with the darkness? To be a better Master, Leader, Guide to the Padawans? Could she have made more of a difference? These thoughts haunted her mind to the point where she could not longer walk through the Temple halls on Yavin.

    So she left. A sabbatical. Or what was meant to be a few month sabbatical that would allow her to reconnect with the Force, to feel that peace, to trust in its ways and return stronger and more confident than before. At least that was the original thought.

    Days turned to months. Months into years. And still N’yssa did not return home. It has been almost five years now since her departure.

    Briefly, while staring up at the now star filled sky, she wondered if anyone missed her? If anyone noticed her long absence?

    The longer she stayed away, the worse her doubts became. Faces entered her dreams, even her meditation, making her loose focus and concentration. She could barely lift her lightsabers these days. Not due to weakness, climbing the mountain steps for her meditation session every day has made her as fit as ever.

    No, the lightsabers held a different meaning in her heart, and that was what weighed her down. The times she used it and drew blood, and the times she hesitated and blood was drawn from her.

    Balance in the Jedi Master’s life had unraveled, and N’yssa didn’t know if it would ever right itself again.

  • #2
    It was easy to lose faith and hope whenever much that surrounded your own personal vicinity looked obscure. Yet that didn't necessarily mean that a rough patch would stay just that way forever. No matter how foggy matters were turning out to be. Life was full of challenges and adversities, and like so many, Amalia had experienced how own share. There were times where she wanted to just give in and give up. Times when she lost hope and doubted she could make it through, and she did. However, it was the opportunities where she rode the difficult wave all the way out, where she sometimes came out safely on the other side. It wasn't a guarantee, of course. It was just that Amalia was a strong believer in hope and faith, two beliefs that had taken her very far in life. It was those experiences that challenged Amalia the most, that she not just drew on such beliefs, but leaned on them to help carry her.

    Just when she thought she had been challenged to the brink, a new and much heavier pail got dumped onto her load. Sometimes she didn't rightly have the chance to just give up and give in like she wanted to. Not when she had others looking to her to lead some kind of example. She'd never claim to be the best example, but there were times that she had to do more than simply try. She had to try, because the densely scarce New Jedi Order was counting on her. Giving up meant that she was giving up on all the incredible forces that had once surrounded her, that had unified with her to work for the same cause. Her fellow Lightsiders - and she would never give up on them. No matter if they stayed or went.

    Amalia often thought of her fellow Jedi, even in her expressions of silence. She carried on her duties, even on the days when she had no one to assist in being responsible for. She loyally kept to her personal missions, going to and from every Jedi ally destination to take care of matters that required lightside guidance. Tython was just one of many places in the lightsiders life that occupied her time. Just as much as valuing personal time to reflect and offer herself some rest and relaxation.

    Though business was in order on Tython, Amalia still afforded herself a brief break to enjoy a delicious but hot meal inside a nearby local restaurant closest to The Jedi Temple. She wore her familiar light blue robes, her personality was spirited with positive manner despite knowing how scarce and trying everything was back at home, all while enjoying her meal. Amalia knew the scale of time, and not always did time dictate forever. The New Jedi Order was sure to rise again, Amalia was certain of it. She just needed to sprinkle in a bit of time and patience to her already resilient thoughts of not losing faith or hope. There was still so much to smile about and take joy to back on Yavin, and if and when her fellow colleagues sought to return there one day, they would surely see it too. Amalia believed that day would eventually come, but until then, she would keep believing and help to welcome back anyone that sought the same similar causes as some of her other fellow Jedi that were still waiting just as hopeful and faithful as she was. Amalia did not see the temple back on Yavin as being left behind, but a place eager to create some new and everlasting experiences. As far as the Jedi Master was concerned, nothing was not so broken that it could not be fixed. A pause was sometimes necessary to find new meaning and results in something much cared for, so that it could be nourished in an entirely new and giving way.
    Last edited by Amalia Braska; 09-30-2020, 02:07 AM.


    • #3
      It felt like a jolt of lightning passing through the Jedi’s body. It was a long time since she felt another force user nearby. And this wasn’t just some random blip on her radar. The Force Signature belonged to someone she knew well… which made N’yssa wonder if her little hiding spot has finally been found.

      Amalia was a dear friend. So much of N’yssa wanted to re-connect. To speak to someone after the months, if not years of solitude. However, the guilt of being away for so long seeped in. N’yssa knew the fellow Master must be swamped with duties… duties she had left behind when she left Yavin. Would Amalia be upset? Having to pick up all those responsibilities without her.

      Frowning, N’yssa took a sip of her tea, wondering if this was really the Force’s doing. A kick in the pants? There was no harm in letting her force signature out a bit further, right? See if Amalia even wants to talk in the first place. The pink haired Jedi Master let out a sigh and shared her essence out to the other Jedi Master. Cautiously opening her mind up to the telepathic communications.

      ~You’re a long way from home…~ N’yssa said, her mind’s voice small, faint, but still full of friendship and care.


      • #4
        While Amalia did attentively do her best to attempt to keep awareness to most all force signatures, there were times wherever even she understood that do not disturb was bound to happen. Not all force presences made their force print available, which meant it wasn't always possible for Amalia to find someone. However, she had been known for drastic measures when she really wanted to find someone or something. Yet for the most part, she did her best to respect those around her. So when Amalia suddenly found clarity to her friend and Jedi Master's signature, the brunette took very little pause to N'yssa's presence suddenly pulsing to life via the force. There was an unspoken sense of understanding, even if she was unable to surmise if the other female had truly been hiding her signature or not. It was not a thought that dominantly crossed Amalia's mind. More so, she merely pondered that the other experienced Jedi had just been near by perhaps. Easily, she welcomed the other signature and found herself returning a reaction toward the pink haired woman, offering a thoughtful caress of familiarity and comfort. Like a warm blanket. Her effort was more informal than formal, if just to keep the atmosphere light. While although Amalia could not easily sense signatures whenever she wanted, her intuition was far more targeted, and hers happened to be telling her that there was something worth paying attention to in N'yssa's signature, aside from just N'yssa herself.

        -Hey there, my friend - oh - for the moment, I think I'm right where I need to be ... -

        The Jedi neither denied nor confirmed the other force user's words. For Amalia, home was always where the heart was. It was a response that went without saying, as N'yssa knew Amalia to think as much. Amalia's words didn't keenly pinpoint to precisely what she was referencing to, but there was a kind of quiet projection through the force that suggested she was content to remain a warm blanket.

        -Would you .. care to join me? I'm just eating lunch. Or perhaps you'd like to meet up sometime later today?-

        It was one thing to interact with Amalia via the force, but face to face interactions were often far more exclusive. Not that Amalia at all had a clear indication that N'yssa was planning on retreating, but it was a scenario that was a lot harder to approach when Amalia herself was around. The brunette wanted the face to face interaction because she knew she could assess N'yssa on a more personal level, as there was only so much that could be shared via the force. Amalia knew quite well that in doing a face to face meeting, it would require some sense of vulnerability from N'yssa. Anyone that truly knew Amalia, they were well aware that Amalia had fine skill in body language and emotion. She could wield a saber to somehow save her life, but her strength held solid in personal connections with others. Not to mention, Amalia was not known for always accepting no for an answer. Stubbornness could be as much of a strength as it could be a flaw...


        • #5
          Thanks BB. I'll take it from here.

          Having taken over controls of his ship, Caltin was strolling down memory lane. In doing so he was flying through the Tython system. It had been. Couple of years since he had done so, in fact the last time he was here, Caltin and two other Jedi Masters were leaving in a rush. There had been a battle, one of many he had been, two of the three had been through a war and a trauma. It was a wonder that they had survived. The local population were still growing, it might be fun to see them and pop out. Though he still had allegiance and a place in his heart for the Jedi, it had been a long time since he was around his compatriots. Were they still the same? Did they consider him one of their own? Kalikori village, the Twi'Lek settlement near the Temple, ho were they doing?

          Okay. Okay. I'm going.

          As he began plans and preparations for a descent into the atmosphere, more memories of the planet made their way into his mind. No, they were not all good memories, not all bad ways, but they all brought a smile to his face. The Massive Jedi Master used to try his hardest to forget his memories and not live in the past. Now? Meh. Now with his marriage, even if secret, and more relaxed outlook on life all was good. He was more than good, he was happy.

          What is weird is that if you look at him, you might not pick up on it.

          It's not that Vanagor looked for the rough life laid upon him, but the years were starting to show. An extra deep breath here, a wince or incomplete range of motion there, he was starting to feel it all. This is not to say that Caltin was withering, not in the slightest, but even the strongest lock will show age when weathered so heavily. Not long in the past he would consider this a detriment, that is there the wife came in. She inadvertently taught him to accept a helping hand once in awhile.

          The clouds were numerous and fun to fly through.

          Fun... something he hadn't had in awhile.

          It was when he was over the gnarly near the old Master's retreat on Titan that he found dmore reason to set down his ship. Two friends were on planet. Their essences were faint and he couldn't pinpoint where or who they were, but why not pop in, right? Who knows, maybe the Order was being moved.

          That would be cool.

          As the ship slowly set down and the hum of the repulsorlifts brought a nice buzzing sou d through the cabin, Caltin reached out into the Force to see who might be here.

          You have power over your mind, not outside events.
          Realize this and you will find strength.


          • #6
            Face to face? Was she ready for that?

            N’yssa paused in her response, unsure if meeting Amalia was the right thing for her to do in her current state. Then again, it was her after all who opened up communications in the first place, what else could she expect? Was it her subconscious pushing her back in contact with the Jedi after so long of an absence, or was it the Force giving her that gentle nudge to say it’s time to move on?

            Upon closer examination of her internal feelings and emotions, N’yssa realized she did want to talk to Amalia, she did feel lonely and her curiosity of the state of the Jedi weighed heavily on her mind. That being said, the pink haired Jedi felt the guilt spread back up into her gut. To finally have contact with another Jedi, to learn what has happened in her absence, and if it was bad news - she could be responsible.

            - Yes… I’d like that. - N’yssa finally responded to Amalia’s question. - I’m at the old Temple on the outskirts of town… Enjoy your meal and feel free to come by afterwards. -

            This would work… the old Temple was a place of tranquility for N’yssa, if she was going to meet and catch up with Amalia, she’d prefer to have it here.


            • #7
              A sense of relief washed over Amalia hearing from N'yssa, offering agreement to meeting. In the brunette's mind there was little to be concerned with. She had no expectations, but rather, just a desire to see her friend and see if she could offer her some support. It was a challenging time back home, but in Amalia's mind, it was challenging for everyone everywhere. True to her heart, Amalia longed to unit as many Jedi again as possible, but unity meant something different to everyone. For Amalia it wasn't about desperate measures for desperate times. It was more about reaching out and bringing awareness that she was present, something she'd struggled to do positively in her past. The Amalia of the past would have looked to rally the Jedi together to bring them all home to one space. It wasn't that she no longer cared about that idea, more that she was open to other possibilities. All she was interested in was reaching out a hand to any and all Jedi out there in support, to let them know they were wanted. Not needed, but wanted. Though not planning to sweep the scarceness of The New Jedi Order under the rug, her priories were with her fellow comrades during such times. The Jedi didn't need a temple to help those in need if it was imperative. Their own skills and interest could supply that if necessary. A decision not made for Amalia to make, but a choice to be had by each Jedi of their own accord. She could and would guide the best she could if it was wanted, but expectation on her part and theirs had brought many nothing but failure. She had learned too late, and yet was still learning. Amalia's desire was to give N'yssa a friendly but familiar face, something Amalia secretly longed for, too. There was promise waiting back home, support, which would grow, but Amalia had no personal plans to dictate how and where. She was simply elated just to know that there were more Jedi out than she had first assumed. It gave her hope. Not that she had lost hope, but she could not turn a blind eye to the scarceness.

              Finishing her meal, the Jedi stood, but paused at her table, noting a familiar signature but not entirely certain of just who they were. Still, she faintly smiled, because it meant there was yet another Jedi around. A Jedi, without yet knowing herself, she had once promised so much too and yet had asked much of at the same time. A Jedi she had significantly failed, and while a failure she often privately remembered, she did not hold onto. There were too many she had failed, but those personal to her had always hit her the hardest. she did not hold onto if only so that she could properly learn going forward and make changes. Had she been positive the signature was Caltin's, Amalia would have told him that he was wanted. Not as in required or for a specific purpose, but as a familiar and welcome friend without an expectation waiting somewhere along the way. Those days were behind Amalia with everyone, because that life had left her with a job. Life was not meant to be about working but of living. These days Amalia was living, exactly as she wanted to.

              She called the New Jedi Order home, and yes, there were not as many Jedi about the temple, but she did not see that as something to frown at. It was what time presented her with, and perhaps to call her blind, but she didn't think any rebuilding needed to be done. She'd equally be there for those in attendance as she would be for those who called home something or somewhere else. Life for her was no longer about playing by specific rules. It was about valuing the here and now, and that was enough for her.

              Thoughtfully, her aura offered the same warmth it had offered N'yssa, just letting the still unidentified Jedi (Caltin), that he was welcome. She left her signature free as a beacon to her approach to N'yssa's location if he should choose to follow. Amalia did not need to necessarily know each Jedi to realize that they all needed a friendly and familiar face during times like this.

              It'd been a little bit of a walk to the old temple, and the further along she went, the more rubble she found. Parts crumbled but still some parts still standing. Almost to the entrance of the old temple, knowing that just by pure sight, that the area needed a bit of tender loving care, her mind spoke to N'yssa's, curious.

              I'm here, at the entrance - so this is where you've been, huh? Looks like this area has been through some wear and tear - do you like it here? Is it or has it been home to you? If so, I'd like to offer you support on assisting with the temple - if that ends up being something you'd enjoy. Really, I just want to know how you've been and what's been of interest to you. I - miss your company.

              Her company, not her service. Amalia's visit had absolutely nothing to do with herself and what she could have used. She'd been on planet, working, but at the moment, as far as she was concerned, she was off duty, ready to make some conversation and lend a hand as well as an ear.
              Last edited by Amalia Braska; 11-08-2020, 01:34 AM.


              • #8

                Grabbing his daypack, Caltin walked down the ramp. He took his lightsaber, but he was sure that he would not need it, after all the planet had changed so much in a short amount of time. There was no cloud of darkness like blurring the view of the Force like the last time he was here, so that was a good thing. That and if there was, he would not face it alone. In the not so distant past, he would have preferred to go solo, but that was then. His overprotective nature tended to push people away rather than keep able-bodied Jedi close by. He too had his share of friends and colleagues that he had failed in that regard, but he would not dwell on it, they all had their own paths to walk. Naturally, he would wish them well, but as to where he used to keep tabs on them even after they would leave his side, he left it at “May the Force be with you.”

                A teacher must learn to release, just as a student must learn to rely on themselves.

                The view was as magnificent now on the walkway towards the temple as it had been in the past. Unfortunately, some of the underbrush that he himself had cleared out during his own self-imposed exile so many years ago had grown back, but it appears to be tended to, so it looks like it belonged. He saw a few of the indigenous life playing in the distance, they were of the “pup” age and quite cute. If he did not have friends who were becoming more and more familiar the closer he walked towards the Temple.

                There were two Masters, Amalia Braska, and N’yssa Farifax.

                It looked like there was trepidation as to meeting up, maybe they had not seen each other in a long time either. Maybe the Order was having issues. Either way, he was walking down that way, if they wanted more company, great, if not he would respect it. Life was too short to hold grudges, and besides, it changed nothing in their dynamic.

                You have power over your mind, not outside events.
                Realize this and you will find strength.


                • #9
                  N’yssa smiled at Amalia’s comments. Wear and tear? Definitely. Home? Possibly. However, before the woman got the courage to come out from the ruins to meet up with an old friend, a second very familiar aura made it’s presence known. N’yssa’s shoulders sagged as she noticed the other Jedi hovering back, noticing them and not wanting to get in the way. The Jedi Master just shook her head and chuckled beckoning Caltin in with the Force.

                  To Amalia, it was time to face the other Jedi Master face to face. Hiding and communicating through telepathy would only accomplish so man. She asked her over after all, at least she could be a decent hostess, to both guests.

                  “I miss your's too, both of your's,” N’yssa said, emerging from the Temple grounds to meet up with Amaila personal. She bent around the woman and looked towards the location where Caltin’s aura shimmered and glowed at a distance. “More than I even thought possible.”

                  N’yssa smiled at Amalia and then, unable to hold it in any longer embraced the woman in a tight, warm, and tender hug.

                  “I… it’s been a long time… I’m not sure if it is even feasible to restore this temple to it’s former glory… and if it is… i’m not sure if that is the reason I came.” N’yssa released Amalia and took a step back. “As for liking it here, the place sort of grows on you? Or maybe it’s just the moss…” It was a joke, and she hoped Amalia would get it.

                  “Honestly… I was afraid of reaching out to you Amalia. It meant facing my past, and what I’ve done. I feel like a coward, for running away like I did and hiding out in what I thought would be an isolated temple to try and regain my inner peace. Maybe I was wrong… maybe I was frightened by what was happening around the Jedi at the time? I couldn’t focus, I couldn’t lead… I couldn’t teach those that still lingered around the temple halls… I felt like a failure and thought the only way to reach my old self was to come here… or a place like it and search the Force for answers.” N’yssa paused, and let out a heavy sigh, “I guess I grew accustomed to my new living arrangements and time slipped away from me… I… I hope you’ll forgive me for leaving the burden of all my responsibilities on your shoulders.”

                  N’yssa gave Amalia a remorseful look. It was as she feared, all her inner turmoil was bubbling to the surface. Maybe allowing Amalia and Caltin in wasn’t a great idea after all. Surely they’ll tell how unstable she’d become, the doubt, the worry, the lack of focus with the Force. But it had to be done, she had to face at least one Jedi from her days before she’d know for sure if she was prepared to head back to Yavin 8 and her true home.


                  • #10
                    "Everyone needs a little time away," Amalia shared with a reassuring smile after embracing her friend with the same affectionate hug she had been given. "There's nothing to forgive - really - I've been in the same place many a time, if you can recall - feeling the same way. So I'm sure I'm coming across as a hypocrite for telling you that there's nothing to forgive if I've clearly felt the same way. Maybe it's just different now because I realize we all need something, and that something is different for everyone. I came to visit, appreciative of your invite, so much - but I want you to know I don't feel any kind of way. I'd rather say I can relate..." The Jedi paused, looking around, lightly nipping at her bottom lip briefly. She had something else important to say, but didn't want to leave the big guy out of it, as she wanted him to hear it, too. Turning just a little further, she offered a near sweet and somewhat tender smile, looking toward the direction to where the force was calling her to signal where Caltin's presence might possibly be. "Come on, big guy, you're holding up the process here and I don't want to have to repeat myself twice ... I want you here with us .." Yeah, she dared to give the sturdy Jedi a playful hard time, given their all around dynamic, something she wasn't ignoring, but well, she'd missed him just like she had been missing N'yssa. Amalia wanted him to know that he was wanted within their company. She knew N'yssa felt the same, but Amalia could only speak for herself.

                    Waiting for Caltin to make his own mind up as to where he wanted to be, Amalia then shared what she had to say, hoping it would be well received by both of her fellow Jedi. "I won't beat around the bush with either of you -the temple back home, it's lacking, but I'm not here to tell you that it's suffering - or to even extend a desire to either of you to plead for a return. That's not what I'm looking for by paying a visit - the temple is going to be fine and so are the Jedi housed there, of that I have no doubt. I just want you to know that you're both welcome there anytime, whether it's for a visit or to just come back. Forgive me for being so bold as to say so to either of you, but I really don't care where you choose to plant your feet, so long as you're happy, safe and you're doing what calls to you. If it's here or some place else - and you need some help, Ill be the first to volunteer to help. Not so I can just be there or to be someone of importance, but because it's truly what my heart wants. Everything is going to be just fine - as long as you're finding and doing it all your way." Alright, so by the sounds of it, it really didn't sound much like the Amalia they both may have been used to. Maybe she even sounded a little off her rocker, but she really meant every word. Maybe to a degree she was being blind to something she should not have, but that was , and at times, a part of Amalia's inner flaws. "I'm not suggesting that matters don't need attending to - what I am saying is that life, I've learned, is far more than just work - it's not solely about what needs doing. I had to learn that the hard way, missing out on relationships and people I truly care about - figuring out that life's meant for living - and at the end of the day, it's the little things that truly matter. My life no longer revolves around my duty as a Jedi - but that's not to suggest that I don't make time for it - I've never admitted it out loud to either of you - but I'd worked very hard, foolishly, to try and be everything for everyone - it's a false reality - one I thought I could manage for a long time - and maybe I didn't realize how arrogant it made me - I'm not that important - I'm someone - but I made myself more than I am to try and live up to someone that none of us can truly ever be. I realize now, that I can only do as much as I can do - and if someone can do more than I - I think that's wonderful - truly - but I don't want to miss out on the little cherished moments anymore - as you don't always know what you had until it's gone," Amalia stated, the latter of her sentence, looking to Caltin, and then toward the both of them as a whole. Amalia could not undo her mistakes, and she had many, but this moment was important, given she could understand N'yssa's inner turmoil, as it was familiar. It was a process she did not want to see repeated for anyone. "Well, we're here now, let's take the little moments and do what we can with them. Being in the here and now, it's the best stable place I've found to be. If this is where you may want to be and it is what calls to you - well - that's perfect - absolutely," the Jedi Master said with a supportive smile, knowing full well that could have been all she had needed to say to keep it simple - but when did either of the two know Amalia to be simple.


                    • #11

                      Walking into the old Temple was something that Caltin had not planned on doing today, but it was a welcomed walk. For some reason, Amalia believed that he was afraid of joining them, that was cute but not the case as he simply felt that maybe they needed some time alone, her and N’yssa. The main foyer told many stories of history and he would have loved to have been alive during that time.

                      The closer he got to the other two masters, the stranger it felt. This was not because he felt like they were strangers to him, but N’yssa was not the only master to have been away for so long. However, where she was in exile, he was on a personal quest. The Force was calling him across the galaxy and he had learned so much about the history of and his connection to it.

                      They were both a welcome site, both as beautiful as the last time he had seen either of them. Yes, he was happily married and had no interest in either more than a professional or friendly relationship, but still.

                      Hey there.

                      You have power over your mind, not outside events.
                      Realize this and you will find strength.