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Scars of the past .. (Open)

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  • Scars of the past .. (Open)

    Posted by LinaCapulet on 08-02-2002 04:37 PM:
    Scars of the past .. (Open)

    Lina once again could feel misery taking over. A greater one then her usual misery stages. She gently opened the door to her quatres, and pushed it back, carelessly leaving it open by a few centimetres. She didn't notice and instead made her way to her bed, flopping herself ontop of it. She raised her hand to rub her forehead, and then noticed a few red scars on her arms, as her sleeve slid down a little .. the wounds she had when she used to known as a cutter .. Lina remembered how she unsheathed her blade, and slid it past her arm. She saw a nice clean part of her skin ... clean ... not yet touched.

    "No ... I shouldn't."

    She couldn't help herself now .. her hand slid down her back pocket, pulling out the blade she owned all her life .. she unsheated it, and slowly pressed it against her skin .. she whimpered a bit, as she kept doing this back and forth, back and forth ... Lina felt small droplets forming in her eyes .. She tried to keep her whimpering down .. Blood appeared now .. she slouched her shoulders, just incase someone could hear her .. She couldn't stop herself, it was like the blade kept digging deeper into her skin by force ....

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 08-11-2002 06:45 PM:

    :: Sith Master Dara Shadowtide was walking down the hallway when she heard the sound of someone in pain. Seeing the door slightly ajar, she pushed it open to see her apprentice holding a knife as blood dripped down her arm. Dara rushed over to her and force pulled the blade from Lina's hands and sent it crashing against the wall next to her. Grabbing a shirt hanging on the edge of the bed, Dara took Lina's arm gently and began to bind the wound to slow the bleeding ::

    "What is going on? We need to get you to med bay and get this attended to. And then.. I would certainly like to know why you were doing this, my apprentice."

    :: She looked into Lina's eyes with great concern ::

    Dara Shadowtide

    Rank: Sith Master

    Affiliation: The Sith Empire, Council Member

    Apprentice to: Lady Dia, Darth Havok

    Sister to: The Lady Athena, Lyra Darkstar

    Master to: Raine Sarin, Varlon Konrad, Dyne Darkforce,
    The Lady Athena, Bio Hazzardous, Callista,
    Lord Sabre, Alisa Sha, Lyra Darkstar, Kekoa Alkarin,
    Dark Jedi Kitano, Abydos Nighthawk, Lina Capulet,
    Nikka DarkStorm, Crescent, Dark Emerald Jade,
    Michin Troval

    Mentor to: Saharia

    Wields: A pale blue lightsaber, a turquoise lightsaber,
    Staff of the Tides, custom Sith Blades

    "Do not talk about what you have done
    or what you are going to do...
    do it, and let it speak for itself."

    AIM Bio The Sith Empire Tides of Darkness

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 08-19-2002 11:30 AM:

    Lina flinched as the knife left her hand, and observed how Dara swiftly tended to her wound.

    "Umm .. I .. erm .."

    Her gaze dropped to the floor .. she couldn't even find the words to explain why she did this. A pit of guilt grew in her stomach, as Dara looked at her with concern.

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 08-23-2002 02:46 AM:

    :: Dara tended to the wound carefully and then looked over at her apprentice, speaking quietly ::

    "Lina, what's the matter? Are you in pain?"

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 08-25-2002 08:48 PM:

    "Umm .. no, not really .."

    The tone in her voice was uncertain ..

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 08-29-2002 10:14 PM:

    :: Dara noticed how evasive Lina was being but tried yet again to get an answer from her ::

    "What is it then that causes you to do this to yourself?"

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 08-30-2002 10:50 AM:

    Lina coughed a bit, trying to at least take a glance at her master, but was too ashamed to ..

    "Umm .. when I was miserable, I always used to do this to myself. It's the habit known as being a cutter .. It's bad habit, I know ! And I thought I'd finally quit it, but ... after all that I've been put through lately, I guess I'm still doing it .."

    She stuttered a little, but tried to keep her expression as calm as she could ..

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 09-05-2002 12:21 AM:

    :: Dara saw that the bleeding had subsided for the mean time on the tightly bound wound, and looked over at her apprentice as the pain continued to emanate from Lina ::

    "What has happened to you lately, my apprentice? Is there someone in the galaxy who should feel my wrath for hurting one of my loyal apprentices? Talk to me.."

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 09-07-2002 11:29 AM:

    "He's already dead." Lina's voice was sure, and angry ..

    "Not too many know how much my fiancee's departure has really effected me .. And I didn't wish to tell anyone. Thinking about him gives me headaches and miserable thoughts. So miserable that I tend to do things not too many people expect from me .. like the cutting for instance. I look like such a happy go-lucky redhead, who loves the world, and doesn't give about anything .. I just .."

    She paused for a second, her face was rather drained of it's colour, as she looked a lot more paler. She wondered if she had gone insane over this stupid matter ..

    "... I just think he's trying to haunt me from beyond the grave .."

    Yep .. Lina you've defintily gone insane ..

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 09-08-2002 12:29 AM:

    "I'm afraid I truly have no understanding on the need for one to harm themselves, I'm only familiar with harming Jedi or those who choose to place themselves on my bad side."

    :: She smiled, almost seeming to try and lighten the dark mood a bit ::

    "Isn't there another way you could channel these feelings so that it did not take a toll on you physically? Perhaps I could arrange a spar for you?"

    :: Dara paused for a moment ::

    "As far as haunting you, is there something you feel guilty about that would keep him in your thoughts like this? I realize I don't know about your situation but I do want to assist you in some way if I can, my apprentice."

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 09-13-2002 04:01 PM:

    "Maybe it was the fact that I was the one who murdered him ... I just don't understand why I should feel guilty on that, M'lady .. he was rather abusive towards me verblely and physically .."

    She dropped her gaze, as her words began to trail off a bit.

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 09-25-2002 02:48 AM:

    :: Dara listened to her apprentice as the Disciple's words were soon laced with the pain and burden which was etched upon her features ::

    "Would you like to tell me more about it, my apprentice? Sometimes talking about a situation can bring a sense of closure to something which troubles the soul. In addition, you might be able to tap into a deeper level of the Dark Side itself if you could move past what happened and focus on the emotions which feed the memory itself."

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 09-25-2002 11:39 AM:

    "Well, you might know the former member, Eve Siren .."

    She gulped, remembering how she missed her old friend. Pictures of Eve, Lana and her appeared in her mind, before Lana walked down the aisle to become Mrs. Lana Murdoch. She missed them both dearly ... it was sad to see two committed members leave so quickly.

    "She and I were experiments under a man known as DK. He trained us, and abused much more then my fiancee ever did. But he was there ... my fiancee, and the one who was willing to get me out of that hell hole. He had a secret too .. and he was willing to keep mine if I never told his .."

    Lina sighed, and pushed a red strand of her hair behind her ear.

    "The days turn to weeks .. then months. Before we knew it, we were head over heels in love with each other. And we decided to marry after another few months. It was rather a rush ... and I didn't know if I was ready ... so I suggested we both waited a while to see if we actually were ready. And it was a good thing we didn't get married straight away, because pretty soon he began abusing me, and treating me like dirt.
    "One day he got mad at me for giving out this little bit of imformation that could lead to his secret ... He hit me harder then he ever did before. I then couldn't take it .. I screamed so loud, in pain and in distress. And then .... some weird light surround us, covered us .. I saw him, but through a squinted glance ... I couldn't hear a bang, or his screaming ... I just saw him waste away .. And then, it was over ... "

    She let out a small grunt, her eyes narrowed, and eying the floor still.

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 09-25-2002 11:39 PM:

    :: Dara's facial expression revealed her puzzled state ::

    "But if he was harming you and you defended your own life.. how can you feel guilt when you merely did what you had to do in order to survive?"

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 09-26-2002 04:09 PM:

    "That is the point which I'm not sure of, M'lady." She spoke plain and simple.

    Posted by Macros on 09-26-2002 04:11 PM:

    Macros was walkin about, having left the med-bay to unstiffen his aching muscles, he saw a door ajar and looked in. He smiled, what a co-incidence. He peeked round the corner.

    "I hope you don't mind, but i noticed the door ajar. . .Im Macros, im meant to be in bed...But i got bored."

    Glancing down at his own arms, he waited at the door. ..

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 09-29-2002 06:08 PM:

    "Umm ..."

    Lina remained silent, and pulled her arms back, her glance was kept on the floor. Her eyes slid from time to time to her master, wondering what her response to this would be ..

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 09-29-2002 10:01 PM:

    "Hello Macros. Do come in."

    :: Dara nodded to Macros and then turned back to her apprentice ::

    "Some men are not to be trusted in the galaxy, Lina. You should not feel guilt in killing someone who was harming you. He got what he deserved in my opinion. And now you have the opportunity to meet someone who would not treat you in such a manner. Somehow you must use the anger you feel toward that man and let it fuel the darkness.. and make you stronger for it."

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 09-30-2002 08:31 PM:

    Lina smiled, and nodded a bit. A bit of sweat dropped down her lower cheek, for she felt slightly uncomfortable with Macros in the room ..

    Posted by Macros on 10-01-2002 03:38 PM:

    Macros seemed distant as if remembering something of his own past, or more to the point; his recent past. He remembered his manners and lowered his head in respect to Master Shadowtide.

    "Thank you, but I can easily disappear if that is your wish. . ."

    The last part was directed towards the sith he hadn't met before.
    He didn't believe it time to get to know each other though.

    "It's hard to stop, aint it?"

    He said, a weak whisper directed at the younger woman.

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-04-2002 09:23 PM:

    All Lina did was smile slightly. She nodded a yes to Macros, and tried to stay polite, even though she remained uncomfortable.

    "You may stay ... I'm sorry if I was being distant."

    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 10-06-2002 12:35 AM:

    :: Dara looked at Macros and then back at Lina ::

    "I can leave now if you would rather speak with him privately, my apprentice."

    Posted by Macros on 10-06-2002 04:04 PM:

    Macros stood patiently. A slight glance and a curse at his own wounds which had just reopened showed they may have more in common than the lady first thought.

    "Please, I would be honoured."

    He applied fresh bandages from his pouches.

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-12-2002 10:23 PM:

    Lina smiled, but nervously. She didn't really know what to say just yet, so she remained silent ..


    Posted by Dara Shadowtide on 10-12-2002 11:46 PM:

    :: Dara stood and nodded to her apprentice and spoke to her mind via the Dark Side ::

    < We can continue perhaps another time. I shall seek you out again soon, my apprentice. I am sure that Macros here will tend to your needs as you seem to share something in common already. Farewell for now. >

    :: The Sith Master nodded to Macros as she exited Lina's quarters ::

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-13-2002 05:30 PM:

    She smiled and mouthed to her master a silent 'goodbye'. She then glanced up at Macros and then back at her wound ... she felt like hiding it again, but then bit her lip and sighed.

    "Can't really hide the truth anymore," she said and left her glance on her arm, feeling a bit of shame and guilt.

    Posted by Macros on 10-14-2002 03:21 PM:

    Macros nodded his head to Dara as she left then turned ever so slightly to Lina, smiling faintly. Macros winced slightly as he turned his over, embarassed by the slight gasp from her lips as she saw how bad they were.

    "Why hide them? The world is what makes us do it, if it offends people to see the scars their ignorance has caused then who cares? Not me for one."

    He saw her examining his own cuts. If they could be called 'cuts.' His arm was pale and covered in long slits, and she could see how bad they must have bled at the time.

    "And yes..."

    He bowed his head slightly in shame.

    "I tried to kill myself. And nobody cared. Im due a duel with that big ******* Talus - at least your master offers you sympathy, cares for you. I get no such forgiveness from Darkstar, not that I really want it."

    He lifted his head slightly, looking proud for a brief glimmer of a second.

    "I've never had anyone all my life. Never needed anyone. Why start now?"

    He realised he'd been doing all the talking and smiled reassingly at her.

    "Say, what's your name anyway?"

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-14-2002 06:51 PM:

    "Erm, Lina Capulet .. heh."

    She chuckled to herself quietly.

    "I guess I hid it because I never really knew anyone I could talk to this about. Eve Siren, an old ex-Sith, was my only best friend ... and back then and now even she's still a tough ***. So I doubt she would've gone through any of it .. I thought I stopped .. guess I was wrong."

    She shrugged and secretly shed a tear for her best friend Eve, who was supposed to be dead at the moment, or at least that's what she thought ...

    "Anyways, why'd you do it to yourself .. ? If you don't mind me asking .."

    Posted by Macros on 10-16-2002 01:50 PM:


    Macros repeated the name,

    "Suits ya."

    He smiled, then remembering the question he darkened, he recoiled as if stung and bowed his head in shame, the confident young man disappearing into a dark and anguished huddle. The young assassin shook his head.

    Then he looked up at her,

    "I'm sorry, please don't be offended it's nothing personal. I guess I never had anyone, anything, and i'm fed up with life. I have only the Empire to live for and even that is wearing me thin..."

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-18-2002 04:53 PM:

    "I'm sorry, I never knew ...."

    Her voice trailed off a bit. She then smiled, and canted her head slightly.

    "We have each other right now. Maybe we can share our problems and help each other out somehow ... I'm willing to anyways."

    Her blue eyes shimmered a bit, as Lina glanced at him hopefully.

    Posted by Macros on 10-20-2002 11:54 AM:

    Macros smiled,

    "I'd love too."

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-20-2002 02:04 PM:

    Lina nodded.

    "You first then ... and if you wish for this to be kept secret then I'll do so not to tell anyone ... if you don't tell mine .."

    She would've kept Macros' secret anyways, but she just wanted to know that he could be trusted, so that they wouldn't find her ..

    Posted by Macros on 10-20-2002 04:39 PM:

    Macros frowned slightly, his 'secret' was no big secret really, many knew it, none seemingly cared. Macros took a breath, as if about to recount a tale he'd told many a time. As he told it he seemed distant, as if it was someone else he was talking about, not himself.

    "Well to cut a long and boring story short, in my younger days I was an assassin who'd take any old job...And.."

    He bowed his head.

    "I killed my parents. I thought I was an orphan, but, I wasn't. I am now."

    He turned to Lina, waiting for her answer...

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-21-2002 08:14 PM:

    Lina frowned, but then decided to lighten the mood.

    "So ? I killed my fiancee with some sort of hidden power and he demolished within seconds."

    She let out a small laugh, but then it slowly died down .. not a very good thing to bring up.

    "I know it's hard Macros .... to tell you the truth it's hard to get over the fact of me purposely killing my love ... even though it was for a farely good cause ... But what's done is done .. don't think back on pain, it just causes more destruction."

    Lina stopped ... she giggled slightly and rolled her eyes.

    "I should really be telling myself these things ..."

    Posted by Macros on 10-22-2002 09:15 AM:

    "Yeah, but it isn't just that really, I guess I'm homesick really."

    He smiled slightly.

    "Back home I always knew where I stood and what I would do each day. I knew my place, and been new here it is...confusing and strange to me. Everything is done differently. I have a bed to sleep on and food to eat when I want. I never had that...It's hard to adjust I suppose."

    Then he scowled slightly as he thought back on her words, and he spoke to her more sternly.

    "If pain truly causes the destruction that we, the Sith seek, then why not think back on it? Use it to our own advantage to destroy our enemies."

    Then he laughed nervously at his remark.

    "I'm getting bored round here, being a Sith's not all it's cracked upto be. When I have advanced slightly in my training I'm going on a mision to ferment chaos within the universe. Care to come along?"

    He smiled at her.

    Posted by Lina Capulet on 10-22-2002 08:49 PM:

    She smiled and shrugged lightly.

    "Wouldn't hurt. I don't like being kept up in here too long either .."