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  • Thoughts...

    I enter my room and lie down gently on the bed, staring up at the ceiling, thinking about what has happened during the past couple of days, and thinking about... a certain someone...

  • #2

    Her approach to Morino's door as silent as she was lacking in reason for being here this day. Taja closed her eyes and breathed deeply. She had headed in the direction of his quarters immediately after having been dismissed from the Council Chambers, and her head couldn't conjure up a single purpose for this visit. Perhaps the fact that her mind was, for once, thinking without logic was to work in her favor ...

    Eyes downcast, Taja knocked on the door.


    • #3

      My eyes open as I hear a knock at my door. I stretch my senses out and recognize Taja's "aura" as it were. I was mildly surprised... but not, at the same time. It was very strange...

      I got up off of my bed and go to the door, and open it. There she was... eyes downcast as always... much like myself at times.

      I bow down deeply to her.

      "I am very honored to have you visit me Warrior Loraan."

      I seam to mentally stumble a bit. Which was strange... Although this was the best way that I could show her my respect... it just didn't sound right... Did I want to say something else?...

      "Please... come in and make yourself comfortable..."

      I couldn't figure out exactly why she had stopped by... though I did feel happy that she had... I wasn't very good at starting conversations... but I felt that I should give it my best shot.

      "So... what brings you here?... If there is anything that I can do to help you... I will try my best to help..."


      • #4

        Her mind at a complete blank to explain the nature of her visit, Taja opted to answer her comrade in her usual formal tone, though it seemed rather inappropriate for the ocassion. Why, she had no clue.

        Bowing to Morino as a return gesture of respect, she looked up to momentarily meet his gaze. "I hope you do not mind my unannounced disruption this day, sir ... "


        • #5

          As our gazes meet, I experience a strange sensation... I couldn't put my finger on it. I almost felt that there wasn't a need for formality... and something else... What exactly, I did not know.

          "It is not a distruption if one is always welcome..."

          I gesture for her to sit down and make herself comfortable.

          "One thing that I have learned is that... there is always a reason for something... though it is not always apparent. When logical explanations fail, one must look toward other sources for the answers..."

          I sit down, deep in thought, and unconsciously lay my eyes to rest on Taja. After a while, I realize what I was doing and look away.

          "I... I apologize, I hope that I did not bring any offense..."


          • #6

            Once again, Taja was thankful to her lack of expressive emotion, and she merely reacted to his unintentional gesture by looking down, a small smile playing on her lips.

            "Sir Morino," she started, her voice echoing woven threads of harmony and destruction in its dark ambiance. Quite something out of the natural monotonous and apathetic front for Taja.

            "Tell me of yourself."


            • #7

              I'm almost taken aback by her change in tone... this was definately different from the norm for Taja. Not that it was a bad thing... it sounded so.... right...

              "My story.... it truly is a long one, Lady Taja... though since you wish to hear it... I will tell it to you, but know that only Lady Dalethria has been the only other living soul that has heard it in its entirety.... I do not reveal much about myself to many.... only those that I trust... only those that I believe need to know..."

              "I was born into a moderatly wealthy family on a remote planet in the Alderan system. My family had been able to survive for centuries by paying off both the Jedi, and the Sith so that we could stay out of their affairs."

              "I led a fairly normal life. I was trained in the arts of fighting because it was my father's pride and joy. I was blessed with being born ambidextrous. This delighted my father because then I was able to master the two weapon fighting style. Something that hadn't been done in the family in over one hundred and fifty years. Our planet had a yearly tournament, and I honored my family by competing every year. I wasn't the best, but I did give father much prestige amongst the other wealthy families. The only two weapons fighter who even came close was my sister....."

              My face suddenly seems to cloud over. The sparkle in my blue eyes seem to fade.

              "We were one of the most famous families on the planet. But then suddenly, disaster struck. A lone Jedi saw my father when he went to go "pay off" the Sith Lords so that they would leave us alone. "

              My usually laid back voice takes on a bit of sarcasm.

              "Obviously, this was more than enough to convince the foolish young Jedi that were in fact spys for the dark ones."

              I suddenly regain control and continue in my normal tone.

              "The ensuing battle was devastating. Our troops with normal weapons had no chance against the powers of the Force. Besides, we had no idea who to fight, Sith on one side, the Light on the other. It was a massacre. I should have been cut down just like the rest of my family, but then something happened. I was enveloped in some strange darkness.... Visions overhwelmed me. Strange, dark things that I couldn't hope to understand at the time. I passed into unconsciousness."

              "I awoke hours later, the battle was over and I started walking toward my home. It was burnt to the ground... I saw one of the servants that had been loyal to my father, and I approached him. He didn't even appear to see me. I found this odd and listened. He was talking to an official, and he was reporting the casualties. Every single member of my family was confirmed as being killed, except for my sister. This gave me a small glimmer of hope, and I continued on. I found a young Jedi walking away from the battle field. He seemed to be talking to himself, but something told me different. I walked right up to him, but he never noticed me. "

              "I suddenly realized that this was the same brash youth that had brought all of this turmoil down on me. Something rested on the edge of my vision, it told me to strike now and to avenge my family. I listened, and the deed was done. He never saw it coming. My family was avenged, but something didn't feel right. I felt that I had missed something and that questions needed to be answered. The same voice that told me to strike, led me here."

              "It is my hopes to find answers to my questions and to be able to understand better this power that I am starting to gain more control of... but still know next to nothing about..."

              "It is in my mind... constantly battering me from the inside... visions come, and they bring pain... pain, suffering, loss..."

              I then look up, and focus on Taja.

              "But sometimes... I can make it better.... I can make myself not feel so vulnerable... sometimes I become strong enough to fight it, and drive it away for some time..."

              "But that only happens rarely... sometimes I find the strength.... I don't know where... it almost seems like I get it from something.... or maybe... someone...."

              I sit there... thinking deeply for a while... though I didn't make it apparent that I was....


              • #8

                Taja nodded with understanding as she diligently listened to Morino's tale. As she had found to be the case throughout her travels, past and presently while a member of TSE, the Jedi proved themselves time and again to be fools blinded to the laws of practicality and the real.

                However, this particular instance with Morino did not only lend her thoughts of cynicism, but also ... empathy. To a certain extent, she was able to relate to his loss - a matter sheltered within the distant regions of her heart with her other sentiments she preferred to neglect, in the hopes they would eventually vanish. Wishful thinking.

                Once Morino ended his speech and reverted to a trance-like state, she outstretched her hand to his and squeezed it. No words were exchanged, but the emotions reflected in Taja's eyes said enough. They spoke of misery and iniquity, of the misguiding ways of the pestilence known as the Light. Of feelings buried within for fear of failure and shrouded by the all-forgiving darkness of hatred. Of sorrow.


                • #9

                  As she stretched out her hand to squeeze mine, I was incredibly surprised... This was definately not a side that Taja showed the world...

                  And why she decided to lower her defenses... if only for a little while... We would see eventually...

                  As she squeezed my hand, I squeezed back gently, rubbing the back of her hand softly with my thumb.

                  I looked into her eyes... and I could see my own reflected in them... and not just my eyes... but actually a little part of me... I could feel that she could relate...

                  I was supposed to hide my emotions... I was supposed to be the perfect warrior...constantly... but somehow, this was different....


                  • #10

                    Taja's eyes suddenly clouded over with the same opaque mask as was usual for herself and the reflections in them vanished at once, as her daily facade weaved back into her consciousness.

                    Pulling back her hand suddenly, she looked down and cleared her throat. The Warrior clasped her hands together on her lap, trying to avoid any non-verbal contact with Morino.

                    With that, she quickly changed the subject as though nothing had happened, "How has your training progressed?"


                    • #11

                      I could see the abrupt change... and see it for what it was. I knew that even this little "breach" of her normal defenses was rare, and I knew that at this point, it wouldn't last long.

                      I didn't really know for sure how things were going yet... so I knew I had to be patient... and whatever would happen, would happen...

                      Things had to be taken slow...

                      "My training has gone fairly well, all things considered. I fought a Jedi... and sparred with one of Lady Dalethria's personal droids... and gained some insight as to who I am... and what my purpose is..."

                      I look at her, my blue eyes.... always piercing.... trying to pierce through that opaque mask...

                      "Many insights.... many insights indeed...."


                      • #12

                        As soon as Morino's eyes looked to hers, Taja turned away, trying hard not to appear rude. For some reason, she couldn't sustain her mental defences as well when he did.

                        "Care to tell of these insights, kind sir?"


                        • #13
                          Re: ...

                          I continue to look at her, knowing that she could feel my gaze being fixed upon her.

                          "One of the things that I've learned is that... one's actions do not only affect yourself, but your actions can set things into motion... everything is connected, in one shape or form..."

                          "A person can not deny the fact that they can exist apart from the whole. Doing so denies the fact that the rest of the universe even exists..."

                          "People affect each other... though sometimes it happens without it being known. Every person that you encounter is changed... in one way or another..."

                          "In doing so, even subconsciously... I believe that all of us, in one way or another, are trying to find acceptance... a means of finding a way to stave off our inner demons, and possibly... though for some it seems hardly possible...."

                          "To eventually, find contentment..."


                          • #14

                            By this time, Taja's curiosity had been stirred, and she raised a brow in curiosity. Looking up, "Contentment .. ?"


                            • #15
                              Re: ...

                              I nod slowly to her, staring deeply into her eyes.

                              "Yes... contentment... to many people, it is a vague concept. At least, that's the way that it's been for me for as long as I could remember..."

                              "Contentment... finding acceptance... a sense of belonging. Knowing that what you do, and why you do it, is somehow right."

                              I close my eyes for a second... deep in thought. I open them again, and look into her eyes again...

                              "Lady Taja... is what I'm saying making any sense?... I'm not very sure where these words are coming from, but I can feel that they're somehow right..."