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*Wasteful thoughts*

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  • *Wasteful thoughts*

    *The japanese-styled room lit by a few candles, and the incense that burned slowly on the table beside his bed, the Sith Lord MnT sat in quiet meditation.. There had been an interesting occurance at the Jedi Bar earlier that day.. He had been in conversation with two of their number, when the two began flirting heavily, and showing well that they were together. It would have been quite a funny situation, had an odd emotion not shown itself inside him.. Loneliness.*

    *This was indeed strange, for MnT had been around such situations many a time, and the emotion had never displayed itself until now.. What could it mean..?*

  • #2

    *Trying to discover the origin of an emotion could often prove near impossible, and even more so when it was a single isolated event, such as this one had been. As such, MnT had been sitting for nearly an hour, considering what the reasons might have been..*

    *The incense had burned itself out, although the sweet, calming, scent still lingered in the air.. The candles were still aglow, although near the end of their wicks.. The shadows cast by them danced playfully along the ceiling and walls.. Suddenly, MnT's head snapped up.. Could that be it?*

    *He had realized that since he had managed to return to the Empire, this was the first situation he had been in of the likes.. If he chose to believe it, there seemed the possibility that without the familiarity of Damnation's Touch, and the reminder it held, that he needed to remain self-dependant, he was beginning to become lonely.. Indeed he had never had anyone as more than friend, and even then he seemed to consider them more of allies than friends now anyways.. His life had been devoted to increasing his own strength, and as such, he had apparantly been ignoring the need for interaction with others, by allowing the weight and strength of his sword to work as constant reminder..*

    *He did not know what to make of this.. Could it be that Damnation's Touch had been holding him back from personal relationships? Could it have been the reason why he'd never managed to show signs of liking those few girls he ever had? Or was it now that without it, he was becoming weak emotionally, and reverting to a stage where he needed others to support himself emotionally? Which was this? Strength or weakness? He could not tell.. He had been without such feelings for so long, how was he suppossed to know..?*


    • #3

      ::Yurza walked to his master's room and knocked on the door. He had been in the the Jedi B&G earlier when he had felt a surge of emotion from his master. He knew the nature of the emotion better than maybe his master would and he wanted to see if there was anything he coud do to help::


      • #4

        *Hearing the knock on the door, MnT snapped out of his funk, and walked over to answer it. He could sense who it was long before the door actually opened, so naturally it came as no surprise to see Yurza standing there..*

        ... Welcome, Yurza. How can I help you..?


        • #5

          Lara had been standing outside MnT's window for a while. Her fingers gripped into the wall of bricks, she was able to stand still without getting tired ... She still hasn't showed herself to the Empire and MnT was one of the two people who knew she even existed.


          Without wanting to, she listened to the Lord and his apprentice's conversation. If she would've run away, they would've sent a Force aura outside the room.


          • #6

            "Actually master...I came here to see if there was anything I could do to help you. I saw the look on your face when you watched my brother and his girlfreind. I thought maybe I could help you. I have noticed you don't hang around that many females."


            • #7

              *MnT was amazed.. The emotion he had felt had hardly even bared itself inside him, before MnT had started to hold it back, yet Yurza had sensed it in that short period of time..?*

              ... True.. I did feel a sense of loneliness when I saw Shade and Xazor.. And also true, I don't find myself in the company of females all too often..

              " ... Although I don't find myself in the company of Any all that often Anyways.." *he thought to himself*

              ... It was a strange occurance, and one that I believe is linked to the loss of my sword.. You see..

              *As MnT spoke about his thoughts, How Damnation's Touch seemed to have always worked as a constant reminder that he needed to get much stronger, that he couldn't stop his training, How he was always fine with being in such situations, until it was gone, and how there had only ever been a couple of girls he'd cared for, he displayed no sign of resistance in telling such to his Apprentice. He felt that there was no need to lie to Yurza.. After all, what good would it do him?*

              ... The part I'm stuck on, is that I do not know whether the effect my sword had, was a blessing or a curse.. I tell myself that once I've accomplished my quest to rid the faulted Jedi way from the universe, I will have the rest of my life to worry about such things.. But then I consider that I am still in my youth, and one's youth is suppossed to be the time they spend learning how to act socially, and building up such relationships.. That the Later years of one's life are those meant for hard work..

              *He smiled lightly and shook his head, knowing that there could not really be an answer to this..*


              • #8

                Lara listened carefully. In her mind, she agreed with everything MnT said, but her soul thought differently. She wondered why, but she just wasn't with what he said. She shrugged silently, and continued listening in.



                • #9

                  *It was an interesting situation.. He hadn't seen Lady Lee since he returned the the Empire, and yet as soon as he started feeling lonely, she was outside his window, listening in.. How had she found out he was back? How had she even kept herself hidden all this time? He would later have to find out, for right now, it seemed obvious she wanted to keep herself hidden.. Perhaps Yurza would not yet be able to sense her presence, for it was indeed a small one, but MnT himself had noticed her as soon as he came out of his meditation..*


                  • #10

                    Lara had been hidden for a long while. Ever since MnT left. She didn't eat in a very long while, nor sleep in fear of having Siths find her. She was enlighted to know he came back when she heard a few Siths talk about it inside Rama's, where she was hidding.

                    For the moment, she glanced back from her shoulder every now and then, still listening in.


                    • #11

                      ::Yurza nodded, completely unawar of the one outside::

                      "I know what you mean...I have been in that same situation for awhile now myself..the only thing I can do is say go out and have fun. Find a female you don't mind spending time with and then go after her...."


                      • #12

                        ... Ahh, a good idea in itself, but unfortunately, my social skills around girls tend to possess a good deal of shyness.. Besides.. I've known numerous females that i've been good friends with, it's quite rare though, that I've met one that shows any interest in me Other than as a friend.. And even then, they tend to dissapear on me..

                        *MnT's head dropped slightly. It had been true, the only two girls he'd ever felt anything for had, in all honesty, soon afterwards dissapeared.. Lady Sapphire, and one other..*


                        • #13

                          ::Yurza nodded. He had this problem with females before, but he learned to control them::

                          "I know the feeling......if you are shy then look at it this way. You are on a quest. You are lookig for something. A warrior like yourself should have no problem with this. When you find what you want try to look for the best solution of getting it. If you would like I could accompany to Rama's and then you could try and meet people there."


                          • #14

                            "... and meet people there."

                            Lara seemed a bit surprised. Though she didn't know MnT for very long, she knew it wasn't in his habits to go "meet people". But after all, it was his life. She bit her lower lip ... Perhaps it was time for her to leave them alone, it was beginning to get very personal.


                            • #15

                              *MnT could not help but smile at his apprentice's offer.. True, it would be an interesting experiance, but the way Yurza was suggesting to go about it was simply wrong..*

                              ... Ahh, my apprentice.. Perhaps I am a rarity for thinking so, but I cannot consider pesonal relationships to be a conquest.. It is not a matter of you making the other person do what you wish, but finding someone who will be with you willingly.. Perhaps I'll go by the bar later on, but I daresay it would be awkward going there with an acting guide..

                              *MnT chuckled lightly, making sure Yurza knew he would feel better going in there by himself, but also letting him know that it was not meant in any form of offense.. He simply would be tense, if someone was there trying to "hook him up" as they called it..*