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to loathe oneself

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  • to loathe oneself


    *It was not very often one could see Sith Lord Raine Sarin in the bar, he prefered to be alone. Completely alone...
    But tonight he was restless, as he sometimes could be. Usually he would simply trash his room and then fall into a deep meditative trance, but tonight he did not feel like having to clean up such a thing.
    Something was slowly eating away at the Sith Lord, but he was not sure exactly what it was. Perhaps he simply needed to get out more, and meet some new people.*

  • #2

    "Raine?"

    Elena rose up from her seat, one eyebrow risen. She looked quite genuinely confused as she stared across at the Sith Lord. Was that really Raine or was it just some newcomer who happened to look like him? She wasn't sure. After all, it was so rare to see Raine anywhere at all around the Empire, his venturing out into Rama's would be like ... well, a miracle.

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    • #3

      *He looked up instantly as he heard his name, only to see a woman looking at him. The tinkerings in his mind allowed him to recognize her from the first time he had seen her in the recruitment area. He was slightly curious as to why she had said his name.*

      "Yes..?"

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      • #4

        An even more suprised look struck her, though she quickly corrected it to a somewhat insincere looking smile as she saw Raine looking over at her.

        "... Oh, just wasn't sure if you were Raine or not..."

        Her voice trailed off quietly. Wow. How surreal. The Lupine began to grin suddenly, as a thought struck her.

        "Say Raine, you don't mind if I join you for a drink do you?"

        Without waiting for an answer, she swaggered over to his table, yanked out a chair and sat down.

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        • #5

          *He had opened his mouth to answer, but she had already sat down. His eyes blinked a few times before he spoke again.*

          "Of...course not."

          *Since the time he had first seen Elena, he had felt that he would like to speak to her eventually. After all, Vega had once been a good friend of his, and from what he had seen the only difference between Elena and Vega, was that one of them was female and a clone, something he could somewhat relate to.*

          "Would you like anything..?"

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          • #6

            It was weird, she thought, seeing Raine. It felt like they had traded places - Raine had once been female, and she had once been male. Sort of. On the outside, she smiled politely.

            "Ahum, a Tia Maria would be nice, please."

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            • #7

              *The droid came by and he ordered the drink Elena had spoken of as well as his usual glass of Absinthe. Looking back to Elena, he forced a smile.*

              "So, how have things been going for you since you came here..? As yourself, that is. Not of his memories, you know?"

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              • #8

                "... Bland. I didn't realize until now how little entertainment there is around here. The company is often, no offense, so boring too. As I was saying to Xavier, there is a single topic of conversation amongst the Empire - killing."

                She leant back in her chair and shrugged.

                "I for one would rather talk about something new. I have 2 years memories of battle stories, I don't need anymore."

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                • #9

                  "Ah yes. Us Sith seem to be notorious for that. Bragging about our kills, so many of us lack any way of communicating in any other way."

                  *He chuckled softly*

                  "And they all say that I am the mad one..Perhaps that is why I choose to be alone rather than in their company."

                  *The droid returned after a short while with their drinks, Raine handed Elena her's and then took a small sip of the emerald green alcohol he had ordered himself.*

                  "I am curious though, as to why you were created. Considering the fact that you came, and Vega has fled to the Dark Jedi.."

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                  • #10

                    "I'm not interested in talking about battle with anyone to be honest, they can go inflate their ego on someone elses time."

                    She lifted the glass of beige cream liquor before taking a short drink. She paused then, before answering his question.

                    "I know why I was made, to act as a cheap substitute for Vega. His theory was that if h left and I stayed it would mean less grief for him because a piece of him would still be present," Elena said, a slight hint of malice in her tone.


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                    • #11

                      *Raine watched her as she explained Vega's reasoning behind creating her and looked down into his glass slightly*

                      "Ah, I know how that can be. My creator thought similarly, she wanted to bring back a piece of Darth Maul. That was all I was to her, all I was ever made to be."

                      *He took another quick drink from the glass before him*

                      "She failed miserably and it only cost her: her life."

                      *A wicked grin came to his face before he left his thoughts and returned his attention to Elena.*

                      "Those who make people like us need to realize that we are just that...people. We have our own minds, spirits. Sure, some are willing to obey those that make them, but when it comes to us Sith, they should know better."

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                      • #12

                        A look of pride came across her.

                        "Indeed. One day I shall become stronger than Vega, then I'll let him now how I feel."

                        She paused. She didn't hate him so much as to kill him, but giving him a good beating wouldn't do anyone any harm.

                        "On the other hand it has given me somewhat of an advantage here... I know mostly everyone, even if they do not know me. Plus I imagine having tactical information on Jedi isn't going to hurt either."

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                        • #13

                          *With a slight nod he spoke again*

                          "Most likely. It would have been nice to have been created with the knowledge of those I was fasioned after."

                          *He couldn't really think of anything better to say, it had been a long time since he had spoken to, well, anyone. He felt uncomfortable and found himself battling the want to go back to his room and be alone again.*

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                          • #14

                            It didn't take a genius to pick up on how awkward Raine was feeling.

                            "You know Raine, you can leave anytime. I'm not going to bark at you for wanting to be alone," she said before taking a small sip of her drink, smirking.

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                            • #15

                              "But that is the thing...I don't really want to go, I do...but then again, I do not."

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