All that you know...is at an end(Eddic)

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Where are you, Renee?

Jacob said to himself sitting outside his room on one of the benches. He'd went home to visit his mother recently and the waitress had found the note that his sister had left. Breaking down in tears his mother, Marie, showed him the note that stated his sister left for parts unknown. Whether or not she'd return was a mystery. The Apprentice wondered where she went off to. In search of their dad maybe? Doubtful. To her their dad was long gone. Finished! Dead!

Junior on the other hand, didn't believe it. After talking with Master Vanagor he had a renewed confidence his dad would return. But, those were all white lies to protect him from the truth. In reality his dad had gone to the Dark Side. N'yssa and Amalia knew the REAL truth however that he'd gone to Ruusan. More so the others who knew him had come to know that the former Jedi Knight went to the Sith.

This was all taking it's toll on him. Plauged still with nightmares, and the scars of losing his dad...and...now his sister, were also taking a toll. He just didn't know what to do about it. As he sighed he then rubbed his eyes as he was still exhausted and spent a few moments in his room shedding tears. Back at his home before returningt o his room he did the same with his mother.

"Why is all this happening now?" He said trying to fight back tears again, "Where are you dad? Renee?"

[Eddic Tannen]

The faces might sometimes change but the Temple always remained a constant. It was always the eye of the storm in an otherwise turbulent galaxy and as much as he wandered out there in the stars, it was surprising how it always felt like coming home, regardless of how much time had passed. Since his return, Eddic was settling back in. Walking the familiar corridors and reacquainting himself with the old place.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his travel-worn duster coat. A toothpick was clamped between his teeth as he surveyed his surroundings. The soft echo of his boots on the Compound floor heralded his path but otherwise it was quiet. Until, he turned the corner. The one-eyed Guardian paused at the end of the hall as he noticed an unhappy young man a little ways up on one of the benches. Eddic raised an eyebrow and studied hima moment before recognition dawned on him.

"Jacob Junior," Eddic said. "What's eatin' you, kid?"

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob then looked up as he had his face in his hands. Who he saw was none other then Eddic Tannen. The one-eyed Guardian! He'd remembered him from his young days when he first became a Padawan. Now that he saw him he then smirked if only briefly.

"Eddic! I haven't seen you since..." Jacob tried to remember although it didn't come to him, "It's just my dad. I miss him a lot and now that my sister is gone AWOL I don't know what to do now. My life is just a big mess right now. Plauged with nightmares of my dad being either dead or worse...a Dark Sider."

It was true though, and the wear and tear on his face said otherwise. Restless nights, crying, and many emotions of his dad wore through the teenage Jedi Apprentice. Still, he had high hopes his dad would return and be the Jedi Knight he was told about. At least he hoped so. The boy needed his father right now. Or else the truth of it all. The white lies were starting to unravel but he hadn't noticed them. Master Braska being the first who held the secret of his dad.

[Eddic Tannen]

"Yeah, been a while." Eddic nodded. He closed the distance between himself and the younger man until he stood at the side of the bench. He folded his arms across his chest and studied young Jacob. The kid seemed at wit's end, apparently having been through a lot at least emotionally as of late. At Jacob's response, he had to keep from raising an eyebrow, instead keeping his face carefully neutral.

"What exactly have you heard about your old man?" The Sulonese Guardian inquired cautiously. The Apprentice seemed uncertain as to the fate of his father which struck Eddic as odd. He wasn't sure who had told him what and for what reasons. Keeping it from Jacob might spare his feelings but secrets and lies were time bombs, in his option.

Still, he wasn't sure if it was his place to intervene here. He was at best a passing acquaintance, even if he had known his father. The one-eyed man certainly wasn't his Master. It was a fine line between impartial outsider and someone simply blundering into something that wasn't his business. "And when the last time you say him?"

[Jacob Murano Jr]

"I've heard he's out there somewhere, lost in space. He was doing a mission the last time I knew or anyone knew for that matter. Some of the others say he's long gone. Master Vanagor told me to keep my head up and hope for the best." Jacob said looking over at Eddic with that look of confusion.

The teen was just worried about his father. He heard a lot of bad stories from the other teens his age. That was a probable reason why his sister left. Or else she was stealing and didn't want to get caught by anyone. Who knows? All he knew is that he wanted to see his dad again. Ask him why he was gone so frelling long. There was also a look of worry in his eyes, as his missed his twin sister. Now that she was gone it was just he and his mother who was left here on Yavin VIII.

"The last time I saw him was before I became a Padawan. When I was about 7 or so. He hugged us goodbye and went on to his mission." Jacob said with a shrug.

[Eddic Tannen]

The Apprentice's worry for a father he hadn't seen in years was an almost alien thing to the Sulonese Jedi. His own father had been a pilot, gone for long stretches at a time, leaving Eddic to be raised almost singlehandedly by his mother on their small ranch. When his father was home, they had mostly fought an Eddic had left home an angry,independent teenager. He supposed a closer, happier family environment might have left him more sympathetic. He scratched at the stubble on his chin, pondering what to tell Jacob the Younger.

"So, you haven't seen or heard from him in years," Eddic confirmed. he rubbed at the back of his neck in a rapid, irritated fashion. What was worse the truth or letting the kid live the lie?

"Life doesn't guarantee us any answers, kiddo," he continued. "And even if you found'em, there's certainly no promise they'll make you happy."

"Your sister, sure, she ain't been gone long, right?" he raised an eyebrow. "Put out word, try to reach her or find her. Hell, she'll probably come back soon anyway, her family's here, after all."

" Papa Murano, though," Eddic trailed off. He rolled the toothpick between his teeth thoughtfully. "You gotta ask yourself how bad y'really gotta know. Not knowing lets you move on, picture any kind of end for him you want."

"Certainty, comes with consequences , strings attached. You're gonna have to deal with it." He shut his eye and sighed. In the end, he felt the truth was the better path. Telling Jacob about Murano might be bad but then again there had been another son that had lead the father back to the light. "So, if you want to let it go and walk away, now's the time."

"Or I can tell you what I know about your father." Eddic leveled him with a solid stare from his single steel blue eye. "What's it gonna be?"

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob nodded at Eddic's statment about not seeing him for years. But, he also had to agree with the Guardian's comment about life not giving many answers. Ain't that the truth! He was still asking questions not finding the answers to them. There was also truth in it not making him happy. That was clear on Jacob's face he wasn't happy these days. Who could blame him though? Missing his father and his sister would do that to a teen like him. Might make him turn in a direction he wouldn't like to go down.

As Eddic said that Renee hadn't been gone that long he then nodded, "No, it's been a week or so. But, I will try to put a word out to a guy I met on Telos. Maybe he'll see her somewhere. I'm sure he could put the word out there and in the Republic worlds for me."

Hearing about his dad and that if he really wanted to know and that he could tell him Jacob had listened intently to the whole thing. Debating it himself, Jacob had to think...did he want to know that badly? Or else make an ending for his dad that would make him a hero? These thoughts went through his head.

Finally he managed to stammer out, "Yes! I want to know! If you know where he is please tell me. If everyone's been lying to me then please...Master Eddic...tell me where my father is!"

[Eddic Tannen]

"I can't tell you where, exactly," Eddic admitted. "I haven't actually seen him for some time but I know what happened to him."

His lips pressed together in a tight, flat line. The one-eyed man glanced down the hall and collected his thoughts a moment. Next he stepped around the bench and leaned back against the opposite wall so he could face Jacob Jr. and folded his arms across his chest again, tapping one hand against his arm as he considered how best to start.

"I still to this day, don't really understand why it all happened." Eddic began. "Your father left suddenly and while he was gone he was attacked by several Dark Jedi. He made it out but was badly wounded."

"Upon his return and his recovery, he tried to pick up where he left off which included some of his old students." Here the Jedi spread his hands and shrugged a bit. "Problem was their training had to go on while he was away and others assumed the responsibility."

"There was some tension over that that finally melted down into a pretty bitter falling out," he continued. "I don't know if it was trauma or frustration from his ordeal with the dark Jedi or if it had been simmering there under the surface for a long time or if something just made him snap. I don't have any answers there."

"I just know your father became very angry and he left. Not just on a mission or to take a leave, he left the Order for good and walked away."

Eddic took a breath and paused here. He wasn't sure if he was giving the younger man a chance to take all this in or to brace himself for the last bit. After a beat he went on.

"After that and the last time I heard anything on him," Eddic spoke slowly now, sympathy showing on his gruff face and he watched carefully as he delivered the news. "He had joined the Sith, Jacob."

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob then nodded when the Guardian said he didn't know where he was exactly but what had happened. When Eddic shifted around to face him though, the poor kid's heart sank. As Eddic went on to say that his mission that his father went on being attacked by a group of Dark Jedi, his eyes went wide. Then again, Jacob had heard about that part, just didn't know it was that bad. There were others who told him that his father was badly hurt in that ordeal. Still, the teen didn't know the mental scars that were there.

As Eddic continued on about his father's recovery he then said, "At least he wasn't killed though."

Suriving it was one thing, still, he couldn't imagine what his father went through though. The mental scars of that ordeal were probably enough to drive you mad. At least in his own mind it might. But, Jacob wasn't his father though. Just trying to live up to his legacy of being the solid Jedi he knew his father was.

Listening intently to Eddic speak of his father and how when he recovered he was going to train his old students again. So, at least his father tried his best to reassume his responsibilities. That made him smile. Till Eddic spoke of the 'falling out' that his father had with the Jedi. That would raise a question from the younger Murano. A raised eyebrow then formed as he then stared.

"You mean there were disagreements? My dad disagreeing with the Council?" Jacob asked not sure what the Guardian would say next.

He always pictured his dad following the Jedi Code and the Council with that dedication that he did. Trying again to live up to his father's legacy and be the Jedi his father was...

...or used to be!

It was when Eddic told him his father left the order for good that Jacob's mouth dropped. No! It couldn't be? His dad would never join the Sith! He then slid away from Eddic as he said it. Again that was his first reaction to it. His mouth still open wide there were tears forming in his eyes. That couldn't be true! It just couldn't!

"No..." Jacob said welling tears, "He couldn't! He couldn't! After everything he strove to fight...the injustices he sought to justify...why? That's a lie! IT'S A LIE!"

Jacob screamed the last part. He kept sliding away towards the other end of the bench. Now he was more afraid and scared of it. But, then again he wanted to hear the truth. It settled in slowly but after a few moments he felt angered. Angered at those who lied to him. Told him his dad was some kind of 'hero' and a 'savior'. The lies of the Jedi telling him that his father was out there still maybe lost in space.

"Why would they lie to me?" Jacob said now starting to stream tears down his face, "All of the Jedi have lied to me! Master Farifax...Master Braska...Master Vanagor! All of them LIED TO ME!"

The frustration and anger snaking it's way to the surface. Like father, like son. Although Jacob tried calming himself taking deep breaths in and letting them out slowly, it wasn't helping. He was still shocked and frustrated. Still, he needed to hear it. It would have come out eventually. Either way, the teen didn't think all that would have happened.

[Eddic Tannen]

The reaction was about what Eddic had expected. The kid had suspected the truth, maybe even deep down had felt it on some level. Eddic may have opened the door but Jacob had already walked himself there and had his hand on the handle. It was a cold, hard thing to face, he knew.

"What they have been telling you might be different from a certain point of view. They're memories of the man have remained true to the Jedi he was and not simply the man the became."

"Honestly, kid, I don't know." He admitted. He looked down at the floor then up and then back at the young Jedi. "They may have planned to tell you at a certain time or maybe there are things involved that I don't know about."

"Regardless of the exact reason at the core of it all they wanted to protect you but I'll let you sort out the details with them." He stepped across the hall and leaned down, putting a hand on Jacob's shoulder. He could feel the anger growing in the other man, which was to be expected. "You're angry and you have a right to be. It's your feelings and your life. Feel it, acknowledge it and then let it go, Jedi."

Personally, Eddic had never believed in totally suppressing or ignoring his feelings. It was a risk that was true but in the end he always felt that denial, like secrets, would eventually get you at your weakest moments. It was better to know yourself and deal with it than to pretend and hope it went away.

"And whatever else you take away from this, there is a silver lining." The Sulonese Guardian said, tilting his head to one side. "Wanna hear it?"

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob could do nothing but stare. All these feelings he had were of shock, anger, and a combination of anything else. Worry, sadness, and above all loneliness. Now that his sister was gone and his father going to the Sith, or so he now knew from Eddic. The teen was still in major shock of knowing the truth and of course was lashing out by screaming and yelling. He had every right to do so.

"Protect me? From what? I'd rather have known the truth and would have taken it better. The lies or whatever you can call them didn't serve to protect me. Just made things worse if anything." Jacob managed to get out through his shocked look.

As Eddic told him to that he was angry and had every right to be, but to feel those feelings. Then acknowledge them and then let them go, he could try to at least. Jacob had a few times in his Jedi life that he felt anger. It was normal, because deep down he was still a human, and other Jedi had gone through it too. Even his father had. Before the last time he did that sent him running to the Sith. Or wherever he ended up.

"I'll try, Master. That's all I can do...right?" He said wiping tears off his face as Eddic put a hand on his shoulder, though he couldn't blame Eddic for anything because in the end he told him the truth.

A silver lining? What could that possibly he? As the Guardian asked if he wished to hear it Jacob had the thoughts of some kind of saying full of wisdom. So, he then shook his head.

"Yes, I'd like to hear it."

[Eddic Tannen]

"Like I said, I can't say what their reasons were," he admitted. Eddic only hoped that there wasn't more to the story and he hadn't blundered on informing the son of the fate of his father. Still, Jacob Jr. had seemed to be unraveling from the weight of not knowing. He might not be happy with the truth but it was forward momentum versus being stuck in the dark.

"Best any of us can do, kid." Eddic said with a shrug. He stepped back again to give Jacob Jr. some space. He chewed thoughtfully at the toothpick between his teeth as he considered the situation. He wondered if Murano was even still alive and if he was still Sith.

"The silver lining is pretty simple," he explained. He spread his arms, palms turned up towards the sky and gave a shrug. "You didn't know he'd gone Dark."

After a few heartbeats, he realized that was more cryptic than he intended and pointed a finger at Jacob Jr. "You, personally, didn't know about your father. You haven't seen or heard from him since it happened."

"Which, to me anyway, says something very important." Eddic crossed his arms over his chest again and studied the younger Jedi with a single, steely eye before raising his eyebrows. "Your father didn't want you to know. He hasn't shown up to brag or try and turn you or even rub it in your face."

"He's had to have known where you were all this time and he's never showed or contacted you which means he cares enough to keep the truth from you." The Sulonese Guardian rolled his shoulders in another shrug and raised a hand to tap it against the side of his head. "Food for thought."

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Hearing the 'silver lining' it did seem kinda cryptic, but, it was true. The kid never knew it. So, either way he'd have a lot to think about, including Eddic's words of wisdom. The part about not knowing his father had gone dark and not seeing him was also true. He'd not seen his dad since he was a very young boy. Still, he missed him dearly and needed to hear it from him why he'd left.

If he could ever find him....

"You are quite right, Master. I never knew. Then again nobody had told me either. Still, I should wonder why and ask them for the answer...the Council I mean. Maybe they know why they had to keep it from me." Jacob said with a shrug, not knowing what to do.

Hearing the words that it said something important the fact that his father didn't want him to know. That part he could agree with somewhat. Then again who really knew the answer why. He'd have to hear it from his dad more so then anything. Nodding through it he still felt a lot of anger towards those he personally knew. It was subsiding for now, but, there was also still the fact he was in total shock.

Knowing that he had a lot to think about and soak in he then faked a smile, "True. Food for thought. Did you see him when he went to the Sith?"

[Eddic Tannen]

"'Fraid not," Eddic admitted, shaking his head. He hadn't seen Murano since he had left the order, so he couldn't verify it himself. "If I recall, I think it was Verrj who told me he had seen him afterwards and I trust his judgment on the matter."

"That's pretty much all I know," he added. "No word on him since, unless someone else has had contact with him."

"For all I know he could have come to his senses and left the Sith," Although Eddic figured someone would have heard about that by now. More likely he was still with them or otherwise he was dead. "You might need to question anyone who could have seen or spoken with him since, maybe they were lying under his instructions."

"I know it's a lot to take in," he sympathized. "I'm sorry I don't have more answers for you than that."

"If you decide to go looking for some, though, you can count on me if you need any help." Eddic held his hand out to shake. "Just call on me if you need some help or to tag along on some leads."

[Jacob Murano Jr]

"Oh, okay." Jacob said saddened by that.

But, when Eddic said that Verrj had seen him when he went to the Sith, that's when Jacob wondered why the Guardian hadn't told him that. When the teen would see him again he'd ask him why he didn't tell him about his father. Then again, maybe Jacob's father had told Verrj not to, or else Verrj did it out of pity. Knowing that it could hurt him, which, the whole white lie did just that. It made him shocked and angry.

"It is a lot to take in, but, I'm going to try and look for him. This galaxy is big though and that's gonna be like trying to find a needle in a haystack." Jacob said shrugging his shoulders, "But, it's okay, Master. You helped more then hurt. It's good to know the truth now...wish I'd have known sooner."

When Eddic offered to help him look for answers he then smiled. If only a second or so. It would be great for him to help out the young teen. He'd need all the help he could get. Plus, Jacob had talked to Keeva's cousin, Hector, and asked him if he could find anything on his father. He'd not heard anything yet, so, maybe Hector hadn't had any leads either. But, Eddic's offer wouldn't go unappreciated.

"Thank you, Master Tannen. I'd appreciate the help." He said taking his hand, and shook it, "I'll need all the help I can get."