Nightmares and scar tissue(Caltin)

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob had drifted off to sleep that evening. Although he didn't think he'd fall asleep this early it was still a surprise. When he did sleep he usually had nightmares of his father being murdered in front of him or something along those lines. They usually changed every time. Still the Jedi Apprentice awoke with a cold sweat before jumping out of bed and pacing the floor.

Which was the same tonight. Awakening with a cold sweat the teen Jedi walked out of his room with his blue t-shirt and matching sweatpants. Today was no different and the nightmares and mental scars of his father were still ever present. So, Jacob closed his door behind him and walked over to the nearest bench. Placing his face into his hands the teen sighed. If only those nightmares would stop. That much along with the constant ridicule and torment from the other teens who were here on Yavin VIII. There was always someone tormenting him and those so called 'stories' and 'legends' of his father most of the time annoyed him because he didn't think they were true.

The teen had dark circles under his eyes. That much he knew already and it was obvious to most who saw him he was having sleeping troubles. Something to that degree at least. Jacob just wished that all this torment and nightmares would stop. He also wished that these mental scars would also go away. There were times he wanted to lose it and take it out on one of the tormentors and beat them to a pulp. But, that wasn't the Jedi way. Although at times he's let his emotions run high. Then again he was a teen after all.

Keeping his face in his hands, Jacob then tried to calm his breathing letting it out with a sigh. Today was just not his day apparently!

[Caltin Vanagor]

Jacob wasn't the only one awake at this time of night, Caltin was roaming the halls. The massive Jedi Master was always one to take an extra "Night Watch" shift so that other Jedi didn't have to. He had always done this, it was easy, it gave him time to think about the day past, the day ahead and it allowed him to get a good workout or meal in uninterrupted. However Caltin didn't just do this for himself, this was a way for him to be helpful when he was on planet, as he wasn't always, but it was also because... well... sleep and him hadn't gotten along in years.

No, he wasn't an insomniac or anything, he would like to get a good night's sleep but it just was never going to happen. He hadn't had a good night's sleep since the day he was separated from his parents by a squad of stormtroopers. At first it was out of fear and sadness, then out of stress, now it just was what it was. The past was a distant memory, it wasn't the part of him that it used to be, but then again if he was completely over the past he'd probably sleep more than 2-3 hours a day. That was why he was out here, walking the halls and the grounds along with others who didn't always want to be up at this time of night but were because it was a part of the needs of the order. Then he saw a kid he hadn't seen in awhile sitting on a bench.

Don't see too many out here this time of night that aren't walking the halls.

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob looked up taking his face out of his hands, "Yeah, I'm not planning on walking the halls. More of a 'I'm just gonna sit here' kind of thing."

He then wondered why Caltin was walking around this time of evening. Then again he was a Jedi Master, so, he could do whatever it is he wanted. Given the fact the guy was huge that might also be something of a deciding factor in the matter. He knew his dad was tall, but, this guy was built like a Reek or something. Big like a tree. Kinda like his friend and mentor, Nafrayo. As Jacob then offered Caltin a seat, he then sighed looking down at the ground.

"Not like I wanna sit here." Jacob began, "But, I can't help it. Got a lot on my mind maybe."

[Caltin Vanagor]

Sitting on the offered seat, Caltin just leaned back against the wall and watched the kid for a few moments, obviously something was bothering him and Caltin wasn't going to pry.

Wait... yes he was. Something special on the floor?

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob smirked the first time in a while, "No, I was just...thinking. About my dad. Well, my dad, my mom...my sister. Like I said probably just restless with a lot on my mind."

Noticing that Caltin leaned against the wall, he then dismissed it. It was more his style to lean against walls anyways. Although he wasn't sure if the Jedi Master could help him, he still thought it was best to talk to someone. Get it off his chest at least. So, that's what he'd do. Tell the big Jedi Master his troubles and see what advice the man would give him. Why not, right?

"It's just hard trying not to listen to all the bad things the others say about him." Jacob said looking over at Caltin with a sad look, "But, it's not like I believe half of it. Well, maybe I do. It reflects apparently in my sleep."

[Caltin Vanagor]

He was worried about his dad, understandable, but Caltin wouldn't tell him the truth, well, what he knew of it. The kid had to find out on his own, it wouldn't be fair otherwise. The thing is though, he was beginning to let the stories get to him, it was natural, but he needed to stop holding things in, that would lead to problems. Well first of all, look up. Looking down like that leads to moping and you can't solve when you mope. Second, why are you worried about what other people think?

[Jacob Murano Jr]

Jacob then looked up his blue eyes full of sadness and worry, "Sorry, it's been my usual these days."

The teen then thought of his trip to Telos where he met Hector Thymes, his friend Keeva's cousin. When he was there the mechanic told him that he didn't know where his dad was but would keep an eye and ear out there for him. That Jacob could thank him for and was grateful for the help. Although he hadn't heard from his dad in a long time he wondered if he was still out there somewhere. Maybe in a delusional state of mind. Could be amnesia or something. All those thoughts of his dad being dead or alive but not knowing where or who he was.

"I worry what they think because I'm starting to believe them. I've heard stories of my dad being alive somewhere and then I hear most of them saying he's dead or a traitor. I never believed them before but now I am starting to." Jacob said looking Caltin in the face he said plainly, "Did you ever know my dad?"

[Caltin Vanagor]

Not well... but... he said, holding up a hand for a second. He still wanted to get where he was going with the question but he didn't want Jacob to feel like his problem wasn't important. There was something else though, something familiar about all of this. Why was the kid being bombarded with nightmares now? Let's say that the rumors are true. I'm not saying that they are, or that they aren't. You're not your father. Right? Sorry to sound crass, I don't mean to. I was forcibly separated from my parents when I was younger than you by a few years.

[Jacob Murano Jr]

"Ah." Was all he said to his answer about knowing his dad.

Once he held his hand up the teen knew that Caltin was about to explain something. Or else ask him a question. Which he did anyways. But it wasn't like Jacob didn't have his own questions or answers to the ones he might ask. Then again Jacob was a mess now so any insight would be helpful. Talking about it was starting to help that was for sure.

"No, I'm not. But I'm named after him." Jacob said with a shrug, "Your good. If you were it's not like it would matter."

He then listened as Caltin explained that he was seperated from his parents a few years younger then he was. Jacob's eyes went wide then he nodded with respect to Caltin and to his parents. It was hard being seperated from his twin sister and his mom. They lived in a home near the Tavern where his mom worked. Too bad she wasn't a Jedi anymore.

"That's terrible, Caltin." He said then asked, "I can call you Caltin, right?"

[Caltin Vanagor]

He chuckled, frankly he preferred "Master", not because of any type of hubris but because in many respects to the order he considered himself "old school". However it really didn't matter when others were around, especially when he approached the kid. It's fine, as long as it is just the two of us. As Caltin offered the olive branch in the same manner he did anyone who spoke his name or asked, he wondered if Jacob had gotten the point. The point he was trying to make was simple, but he wasn't sure if the younger Murano was getting it. Being named after him doesn't make you him. You have a life of your own and a path of your own to lead. Yeah, he's your dad and I admire the way you worry the way you do, but you should be careful.

[Jacob Murano Jr]

"I know but I've got these big shoes to fill. It's just really...overwhelming." Jacob said and to his answer of calling him Caltin he then nodded, "Alright. When it's the two of us."

He then stood up and walked over to the window to look out. Breathing a sigh he wondered where his dad was. If he was okay and if he was dead he'd like to know for sure. All his travels to find him lead to a dead end. Still, he did manage to get a crystal from his grandparents home on Tattooine. At least he had that in his pocket. Soon enough he'd use it in his own lightsaber. It was silver and was the colored opposite of his fathers. Which was gold bladed.

Taking it out he then smirked at it, "At least I found this at my grandparents home. Someone must be keeping up on it. Maybe mom sent someone there to clean it. I went there once and found it with a letter from my dad leaving this to me."

He then held it up for Caltin to see. The crystal gleamed with a silver color with a pale white center. The crystal was a beauty and he was lucky to have it. Heck, it even gave him luck. Sometimes anyways. Jacob thought of it as a 'good luck' charm more or less.

[Caltin Vanagor]

Caltin just mentally chuckled at the younger Murano's comment. The thought of filling someone else's shoes was something that he lived with everyday as while the ghost he had met several times was not the man he had read up on... You should read up on a Jedi of old by the name of "Caltin Antios", he was my great great grandfather. Yeah, he knew what that was like, even if he didn't really know what Jacob was going through.

Arestul does... might ask him to talk to this kid one day.

Then the crystal came out and Caltin admittedly admired it. May I? Taking it into his hands and looking it over several times, his eyes widened with just a hint of surprise. You might have a Hawkeye!

[Jacob Murano Jr]

"I'll definitely have to then." Jacob said with a nod, smiling once again.

As Caltin asked to see it posing the question to him through the Force the teen nodded. He didn't mind at all in fact. Since Caltin was a Jedi Master, Jacob would have showed it to him either way. At least at some point or another. When the man looked it over the teen Apprentice wondered where it came from. What possibilites for a lightsaber did it have? All sorts of questions went through his mind.

But, it was when the Master told him he might have a 'Hawkeye' he then raised an eyebrow, "What's a 'Hawkeye'? A type of crystal?"

[Caltin Vanagor]

Offering the crystal back to its owner, Caltin still eyed it admiringly, the color, the balance, it was a great crystal. I would highly suggest that you meditate with this crystal when you learn to, and then on how you want your life to be as a Jedi. Running his finger along the lines of the crystal, up and down, Caltin explained. A Hawkeye crystal is super rare and extremely powerful in lightsaber combat. This is used most by those who consider themselves "Guardians", and "Vanguards".

Nodding, he quipped. That's a beauty of a crystal but it comes with a huge responsibility. Don't be afraid of it.

[Jacob Murano Jr]

"Like when I build my lightsaber?" Jacob asked curiously, "I wonder where dad got this from?"

Taking it back he then placed it in his pocket hearing Caltin say that was a rare one and extremely powerful in saber combat. That was cool! Something rare in his possession...wicked cool! When he heard the words 'Guardians' and 'Vanguards' he then raised an eyebrow at the last word. That was a weird term. He'd heard the word 'Guardian' before. From the rumors of it he heard around the Temple it was a saber-oriented type of Jedi. They existed long before the Jedi of today. Way long ago.

"Is it that powerful?" He asked when Caltin made his quip about it, "I wouldn't want something too powerful. I'd be afraid if I lost it. Which I won't. It's a hypothetical thing."

He then thought of his dad at that moment. What Caltin said was something his father would have said too. Although his dad wasn't all about power and that sorta stuff he knew being responsible for something like that would make him more wise. Maybe he gave it to Jacob to teach him to be responsible for something that rare and powerful.

"What stories did you hear about my dad?" Jacob asked curiously thumbing his crystal around in his pocket.