Return to a temporary home (open)

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  • Jack Aleron

    Swordsman of light
    • Mar 2011
    • 1437

    Return to a temporary home (open)

    Jack landed his yt-1300 in an open hanger bay in the first time in a year as he sat there an uneasiness settled in he saw Leyla's face in his mind pushing it out of his mind. Jack made his way down the ramp walking by several people who greeted him hearing Leyla's voice from all of them he waved. Two years hadn't helped any to lessen the pain the physical scars he obtained didn't help either. Continuing down the halls to his room he saw her in that chair in his minds eye and twirling his door was left wide open.

    the dog bed was gone the dog was a permanent fixture with the younglings. He sat there on his bed looking at his few belongings that where still here hearing her voice and smelling her perfume in his mind. He had a large duffel bag in his hands to pack it all in seeing how empty the temple was just enforced his choice to leave.

    His aura felt similar but hollow and saddened by his time here. Jack sat there remembering all the faces he met here "well Jay looks like I wont have that office after all" he muttered to himself sitting there almost waiting for her to come through the door like she did before.
  • Amalia Braska

    Site Staff
    Co-Founder of NJO
    Doting Jedi
    • Dec 2002
    • 11492

    #2
    The atmosphere at the temple was still just a touch somber, but nothing Amalia couldn't handle in her own experiences. While reality was not as she expected it to be lately, she refused to let such serious times, dilute any hope she had. She felt little pressure these days to sustain a considerable list of duties, as it had been a set of requirements she had built in her mind that she felt she should be responsible for. If she checked on those still calling the temple home, it was because she simply wanted to. She'd been a victim to her own mind, creating her own sense of pressure to get things done. It was hard to accept that individuals were let down, but now, she knew that it didn't always have anything to do with her. Though sometimes it did, and Amalia had learned to accept that and be responsible. She wasn't perfect and for the first time in a long time, she was happy that she was not.

    Walking down the compound halls, the rooms mostly scarce, she hadn't been expecting to feel a recognizable presence inside any of the rooms. At least not during this time. Without hesitation, she stopped before Jack's open door, surprised to see him but in a positive way despite the feelings radiating off of the young man. "Hey Jack, how's it going?" There was no serious stoic reaction on the Jedi Master's part, but rather, casual. Like she'd just been passing through in her light blue tunic and had stopped to greet him, because that was exactly the case. By now, Amalia to a degree, had learned a thing or two about human interaction, and that at times, it was not always best to spill her emotions outwardly for everyone to see so easily.

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    • Jack Aleron

      Swordsman of light
      • Mar 2011
      • 1437

      #3
      To say jack didn't notice her walking up was an understatement. Looking at her with one eye the other covered by loose hair he smiled "could be better could also be dead or being tortured and experimented on so" he said plainly. Standing up jack started packing he noticed she wasn't doing her usual motherly thing and sensing she was more laid back as he was emptying his drawers "you seem less stressed have you decided to take a less hands on approach around here ?" . He asked picking up a power cell for a blaster out of a drawer Shoving it in his pocket "because it really suits you and you seem happier and it's good to see"

      his mind was still on Leyla but he decided to compartmentalize as he always did instead of dealing with it for now "as for me I feel like I outlived my welcome here so I'm moving on" he said he couldn't say he was sad to go. But at the same time it became a type of home for him looking back at her hearing what she had to say.
      Last edited by Jack Aleron; 02-20-2021, 09:56 PM.

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      • Amalia Braska

        Site Staff
        Co-Founder of NJO
        Doting Jedi
        • Dec 2002
        • 11492

        #4
        "I would prefer you stay," she said, not yet addressing his observations. She could see clearly that it look like he was heading off, even if his words made it clear. So many had come and gone already, and it was completely up to Jack to do as he wished. The only difference in Amalia's thought pattern is she wasn't about to blame herself or even try to find a reason. "Where do you plan to go?" Jack did seem very eager to go. She did want him to know that he hadn't outlived his welcome. "Hmm.. not sure I feel that way, that you've outlived your welcome but I understand if you do. I think everyone that comes here has something to contribute .." she kept to simplicity, not desiring to go into a big speech for the young man as staying would turn into more of a burden for him. Even so, she couldn't just simply allow him to leave on that answer. "Why are you really leaving?" Just because she was a different person, didn't mean her observation skills had changed any. Jack seemed to be avoiding something, in a way, running from something. Slowly the Jedi made her way further into the room, even if Jack had not so much given her permission to. It wasn't to step closer to him, but to meet him halfway, to make it clear more so that she was interested in listening and talking, rather than to simply just pass by. "I appreciate you noticing my growth - but take it from me - departing each time you feel you've outlived your welcome, is not all it's cracked up to be. I speak from experience. You're more than likely to find that here is right where you belong - but you don't need to take my word for it - go if you must and find out for yourself if it's truly what you want." If he returned, there would be no plans on her part to gloat, to suggest she had told him so or that she was right. It wasn't about that. Rather, she was just offering him experience. Given multiple returns, she had felt safe to tell him her experience, but she wasn't entirely sold it would be Jack's. "That's been my experience. I am unsure if it'll be the same for you, but I'd likely regret not to tell you what I know. Having more information is likely to help you in further decision making."

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        • Jack Aleron

          Swordsman of light
          • Mar 2011
          • 1437

          #5
          Jack listened to Amelia as she spoke "part of me would like to stay" he said as he stood and looked into her eyes. There was regret, sadness and tiredness in his eyes "but I can't access the force anymore I've tried" he said waiting for her response he only had one or two items left to grab but those could wait until this conversation ended. "I haven't figured out out where I'll go I thought about trying to reestablish my families aristocracy on Naboo but I'm not sure" He said tiredly.

          He leaned against his dresser "in the 2 years I was gone I've done things that would make a sith's blood run cold I've tortured people for days weeks even for information trying to find a fellow jedi who I fell in love with who was taken by force. But by the time I found her she was dead and I killed all that where responsible out of rage" he said looking down at the floor he as he got a little choked up. "But I didn't stop with them I found anyone who supported their organization past and present and butchered them to I made sure it was slow and painful" he said with tears running down his face.

          He couldn't stand to look at her after admitting what he just said "I originally joined to atone for my sins but I'm the same monster I originally was I didn't deserve her and she payed the price" he said wiping away tears from his face. He didn't know how amalia would take what he just said and he sat there and waited for her response.
          Last edited by Jack Aleron; 02-25-2021, 09:18 AM. Reason: Accidentally hit post

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          • Amalia Braska

            Site Staff
            Co-Founder of NJO
            Doting Jedi
            • Dec 2002
            • 11492

            #6
            The Jedi found herself taking a seat, not eager to walk away as the opportunity dictated something imperative enough that she could not just idly stand by. Amalia's aura seemed not to cast any sort of judgement, as while she did not desire to admit it, she had been where Jack was before. "I see. Please forgive me for sitting, as I can see that you are eager to go and I will not hinder you - but this is not a matter that would dictate a quick chat. Although I do not often discuss many of my personal matters, I want you to know that I have also done certain things that I am not proud of. I've even been without the force a time or two myself. My first instinct was to get away or go off and find myself, because that was what I thought I needed. I discovered in most instances, as it has happened more than once for me, well, it wasn't what I actually needed. what i really needed was the support of my friends and family. I am not in any way suggesting that it is what you need, Jack. Only you can figure that out for yourself. I won't keep you here beyond your personal choice to be here. You are not some wild animal to be caged, but it is my high recommendation that you invest in considering all your options. I have to be honest and tell you that I don't condone what you've done, for obvious reasons as a Jedi, but I also want you to understand that I am not made of perfection, either. I have done my fair share of unjedi things and it does not make me any less of a Jedi. So I want you to remember that as well, whatever you decide to do, wherever you decide to go, being a Jedi starts within. If you have that inside of you, that is a path that is always welcome to you if its still right for you. It is not for me to tell you what is right or wrong, just be aware always of the hard fact, your choices are your own and as easy as it may be to consciously decide the reasoning for what we do, at the end of the day, our actions belong to us and have nothing to do with someone else. we fallow our hearts, wherever our paths may lead us. So whatever path you choose, if you've followed your particular heart , well then, you've been true to yourself, regardless of what I or anyone else believes. If you do not wish to stay, I understand, but I really hope you will. I will be here and am always here to offer you my assistance in the Jedi ways if you wish it, or just input if you want it. I wish you luck and most of all, peace and happiness." The lightsider was unsure of what else to say in the moment, and she did realize her response was not her typical, but she had changed like so many and was, at least for the moment, content with herself.

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            • Jack Aleron

              Swordsman of light
              • Mar 2011
              • 1437

              #7
              Jack stood there of course she gave a speech about destiny and peace and being a jedi. He continued not looking at her as she spoke he once looked up to her a model jedi a woman with a heart of gold. But she seemed colder of course so did he "how many jedi have left and not returned?" He asked still not looking at her the pain in his left hand returned. "I remember this place filled with jedi and now yours is the first I've seen" he said non-emotionly as he stood there.

              He rubbed his left hand expecting the pain to go away not that it would "how would you expect me to be a jedi without access to the force how can I train future jedi without the force I've tried everything to get it back EVERYTHING" he said finally looking at her his eyes where hollow.

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              • Amalia Braska

                Site Staff
                Co-Founder of NJO
                Doting Jedi
                • Dec 2002
                • 11492

                #8
                "I can assure you, there are Jedi here - even if my face is the first you've seen - it ought not to be the last." That was completely up to Jack, however. "Forgive me, Jack if I appear aloof somehow It's not how I feel - it's more that I refuse to lose hope. Giving up on anyone is not in my nature, no matter how much I've changed. " Amalia's answer for Jack was quite simple, even if possibly it might end up being an answer he might not want to hear. She had been in the same place before, it was personal experience. "You are not the first Jedi to lose their connection to the force, and unfortunately - you will not be the last. I have trained many without the use of the force flowing through me. Knowledge can be taken in by listening and while demonstration is often required - that which is missing can be distributed in other ways. A holographic display, the assistance of a fellow Jedi to help along the way, just to name a few. All is not lost, Jack. Remember not to lose faith, it is a very worthwhile tool that can and will always be in your favor. You are not alone in trying to connect with the force, Jack. My assistance is always available to you - as I said, I will never give up on you." It seemed nearly that Amalia had an answer to everything, but such was not the case. She simply believed in trying to find various solutions. The Jedi's response did not at all dictate that she was denying that he had tried everything, but that there was possible potential to look even further. "I have no doubt that you have tried everything - but there are times when the answer is not so obvious. Sometimes results can require something a bit extra that only time can help guide to. Aside, someone else might offer something that had no occurred to you. It doesn't mean that they knew better or have more experience - it does mean that we can get by with a little help from our friends. I can count on multiple hands how I've needed a friend help me see something that I couldn't before. Perhaps you might not even need such, but I'd recommend not closing a door to such an avenue. "

                The Jedi crossed her arms, unsure if she was giving him any food for thought. "If you plan to go, I understand - but I would be grateful if I could be let known if you decide to - as I have something for you - but you may only have it if you plan to take your journey. If you plan to stay, then it will stay with me. " Amalia did not plan to tell Jack ahead of time what that item was, and for as much as it may have appeared as temptation for Jack, the item itself was not for such an offering. The item in question was very valuable to her, which meant she would not distribute it to just anyone. One of a kind.

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                • Jack Aleron

                  Swordsman of light
                  • Mar 2011
                  • 1437

                  #9
                  Jack stood there "then you are a stronger person than me Amalia I've lost hope in the jedi myself everything" he said listening to her talk. He knew she spoke the truth he knew she was right but he couldn't find it in himself to be what she saw him to be anymore.

                  He lost faith if he could turn into the assassin filled with rage and hate at the flip of a hat what would stop him from falling to the darkside. Or worse hurting one if the few people that cared for him as he listened to her talk and give advice. He looked at her in the eyes "you don't want to be my friend they all die horribly" he said there was truth in his voice.

                  "I know you want what's best for everyone especially those you care for amalia but I was better off never coming here" he said grabbing his bag he looked towards the door his back once straight was now slouched and his eyes empty. "Keep your trinket amalia give it to someone else who better deserves it" he said as he walked to the door. Without looking back he spoke back up "I'm afraid this will be the last time we see eachother amalia goodbye" he said as he began walking back to his ship a broken man he came to atone for his sins and left with more on his shoulders. Stopping by a makeshift monument to fallen jedi jack reached back taking her training Saber and his own lightsaber off his belt and set them on the monument. "Goodbye Leyla" he said as he continued walking towards his ship again.

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