Too Long (Satkia)

[Judah Lesan]

The cold air seeped through to Judah's bones as he trudged his way through the snow to the tavern not far from the temple. Judah could not remember the last time he had actually set foot in the tavern. Not before his coma at least. For all he knew everything had changed, or nothing at all. Stomping the snow off his boots as he stepped in, the familiar smell of cedar greeted Judah's nostrils, along with the alcohol most patrons had open at the table.

"Well if my eyes don't decieve me, Judah Lesan. It's been too long," Tom greeted from the counter. "Your table is free and I've got the tea on the way. On the house this time."

"Thanks Tom," Judah said with a smile.

Tom was his usual chipper self. For someone stuck on a moon which was usually covered in snow the man was happy.

"Satkia should be by shortly, you want to point her my way?"

"Sure thing!"

Judah took his seat as a hot cup of tea was set in front of him. There was also a second cup on the table with a kettle full of hot water. Judah knew Satkia would be drinking some tea, so even though Kat had him finally drinking alcohol, he would stick with tea. Besides it was cold outside, and the tea was hot. The warmth of the tea would keep the knight warm.

[Satkia Beltrak]

Satkia had been spending the last week on Yavin VIII. She missed her family a lot but knew that Maize and Sarya Navaria were doing well as she was in touch every day. Her husband and their daughter were on Telos since the day before, since the Corellian had business there for the New Republic.

The redhead had been catching up with many fellow Jedi since arriving at the main temple on the snow covered world. On this day, she was to spend some time with one of her pupils and friends who had been located on Corellia for the past while as well. It had been forever since Judah and her had actually shared a cup of tea at the mountain side tavern and they had decided to do that again.

The redhead always felt tired these days, but she knew that she easily overexerted herself. She would get some rest when returning to Corellia. That was a certainty. Her sense of duty had often seen her exhausted and it was common for Maize to remind her to get some rest. Underneath, she was dressed in black clothing, as her Jedi robes had been kept for official ceremonies for the past couple of years, as her personal life had developped again.

The petite redhead eventually made her way to the tavern. "Hello Tom!" She chirped as she stepped inside, shaking the snow off her boots, before hanging her thick emerald winter coat to the wall.

"Judah is already waiting for you at his table." The redhead chuckled and thanked him. She had sensed Judah's presence already but she didn't mind Tom's remark. She headed to where the Knight was.

"Hello, Judah." She said as she stood by his table. "Feels like forever since we had a cup of tea here, doesn't it?"

[Judah Lesan]

"That's an understatement," Judah said with a chuckle as he lifted his gaze from the datapad to his master. "I've forgotten how cold it can get here. Cordelia is more my place. Though I have incentive to stay there."

Judah was of course referring to his daughter, Sasha, and her mother, Katara. Judah had not wanted to leave for the trial as the last day he had been with his family had been good to advance the relationship between Judah and Kat. In fact, Judah had been reading her letter once more as it was early in the morning and Judah's trial was later in the day. He had already received his summons. There was always time for his friend and master though.

"I hope your staying a while. My trial is today, and should I pass it Katara and Sasha will be coming to Yavin. I would love it if you could meet them."

Well that was mostly what was new with Judah. It was time to find out about Satkia. Judah had more to learn with his time in the coma. He was playing catch up still with people.

"So, what have I missed. There are so many changes around here. Derakai on the council, Spark gone, some of my old students seem to be doing well..."

[Satkia Beltrak]

"I never regretted relocating on Corellia. And when I first planned to do it, I didn't even think I'd get remarried." Satkia said as she took place at the table, smiling. The irony of how she had purchased the house where she now lived from Maize, even before they got romantically involved was never missed.

"I am staying for a few more days. It's hard being away from Maize and Rya, but I know they're having daddy and daughter time on Telos, as he's there for his work." Her husband had been doing well since officially joining the New Republic and she was proud of him.

"I know about your trial. And I hope to get to meet Katara and Sasha soon." She poured herself some tea and wrapped her cold fingers around the cup afterwards. She sighed, stretching her neck a little. She felt so tired all over again.

"Spark's departure was a shock to us all." She said grimly. "Maize and I have been trying to find about her whereabouts, to no avail so far." She admitted. "Derakai has been a wonderful addition to the Council. People still come and go and some others stay. In a decade spent with the Order, and about eight years teaching my own students, I have seen so many become great Jedi. It's heartwarming."

[Judah Lesan]

Judah didn't want to seem as though he was cold and indifferent from all the changes, but he was still processing it all. The one thing about Judah which had changed since the coma was he was more withdrawn from people. Most everything was processed on his own, or when Katara was around she was his sounding board.

"I can imagine. My life has been that since waking up. The hardest part of this whole thing hasn't been the rehab but finding out everything that's different."

Judah finally lifted the cup of tea to his mouth and took a sip. The hot liquid felt good as it slid down his throat. Too often Judah woke up with it sore because of the sudden weather change.

"Ten years, I could say four, but I slept through most of one. Not that I would change anything. I've come to terms with what happened. Even though it was wrong to withhold what I did, I have a family that I likely would not have otherwise. Gods I miss them right now."

Judah noticed Satkia seemed tired. He was concerned, but not sure he should say anything, or if it would help. He knew his master well enough that when she was determined to do something it would get done. Judah had learned his work ethic from her. Another sip of tea let him process what he was about to say.

You're not burning the candle at both ends are you? Red is always telling me I can't rush my rehab. I tried pushing myself in some spars since I've been here, but that didn't go so well. You've got to pace yourself you know. That family of yours depends on it."

[Satkia Beltrak]

Satkia had never gone through a coma but she had gone through enough physical therapy in her life to know how this felt. Thankfully, she hadn't had any life threatening events happen to her since Sarya Navaria's birth.

"There's been so much happen in the last few years. And sleeping through almost one prevented you from having me run around the enclave on Corellia like a headless rancor when juggling with the construction." She mused before taking a sip from the tea, the warmth a welcoming thing.

"There's still work to do there, but the small group of us living there has turned the place into something great. And you've been helping too since you woke up." There had been easy tasks Judah had been able to assist with in between his therapy and time spent with Katara. "Two times I danced tango with death and the result is that I have Rya. I understand what you mean, including how you miss them."

She chuckled a little. "You know how solitary I can be. And here I am saying how I'd be happy to spend all my time with my family right next to me. Life changes us, sometimes for the better."

When Judah inquired about her well being, she appreciated his concern. "Kaie asked the same thing when I saw her yesterday. I manage to pace things better when I'm on Corellia, and not just because I'm reminded to take breaks. Whenever I travel here, I always try to catch up as much as I can, maybe too much. I still have a difficult time taking things easier, you could say."

[Judah Lesan]

"I've enjoyed being at the compound. There's more Corellian to me now than anything else," Judah said with a chuckle. "I know we said the move would be until my recovery was complete, but once my trial is complete, I plan on putting in a a request for permanent transfer, followed by a request to live off the compound."

Judah toyed with the cup. He had been planning this for a long time, but Katara's letter sealed the deal. There was no way he wasn't going to stay with "his Red." Judah had been mouthing that all night and morning, "My Red." Judah smiled at the thought.

"She signed her last correspondence, "Your Red."

It was a sudden subject change, but explained the smirk before Satkia could ask. The next sentence took things back on track.

"I think you shouldn't be so concerned about having to catch up. I lost seven months of life, and I can't catch up. Kat gave me a holovid of Sasha's firsts, even had some pictures of hers. I didn't live that, and won't unless another baby comes along. Quality not quantity is what I'm saying I guess."

Judah smiled.

"So I know the trial is supposed to be a secret until I get there, but what can you say? Any advice from my master on this one?"

[Satkia Beltrak]

"There's been a micro Nar Shaddian invasion on Corellia. My childhood friend had already moved there ten years ago, but now both our families have too. And well, I consider myself as much Corellian as Nar Shaddian now. Though I'll still profess Nar Shaddian being more stubborn than Corellian if Maize asks." Satkia chuckled a little, amused at the thought. Maize and her were equally stubborn, that was one sure thing.

"If you pass your trial, you won't need to make a formal request for a permanent transfer to live at the Corellian compound. You can just stay there. And if you pass, there would be no issue with you living off the enclave." The redhead didn't lack faith in Judah's ability to pass the upcoming trial, but she knew not to be too certain. She among many others had passed or failed tests. It was part of life and the learning process.

"I'm glad that you two could be good together, beyond seeing each other because of Sasha. Having a steady personal life can make a world of difference." The Nar Shaddian replied with sincerity and a fond smile. She couldn't imagine her life without Maize and Rya.

She still hoped that she would be able to have another child one day. She was beginning to make peace with how unlikely this way, but it still was a bit of a sore topic with her. "As a council member and a trainer, I feel the need to watch over others. I know that other Jedi can do this, but it still is important to me."

When asked about the upcoming trial, Satkia looked at Judah in silence for a moment. "Remember all that you learned. Face everything when it comes at you. Don't diminish anything. Accept what you did but know what you can do better."

[Judah Lesan]

"Good to know," Judah said in regards to his request for relocation. "What about students and my sabers? Don't get me wrong, the council did the right thing, but the training sabers just don't fit."

The hilts Judah made with the force for himself were a perfect fit. His issue wasn't that he disagreed with what the council had decided, though at first he had. Judah simply felt naked without his hilts.

A long drink of his tea was taken as Judah just simply listened to everything Satkia was saying. He would face whatever came to him in the trial. He nodded knowing that was all she could say, and he wouldn't ask any more on the matter. Though he was curious about protocol.

Thank you for what can share," Judah began the transition. "I do have another question. The promotion itself, should I pass that is, have non force users ever been permitted to attend. The reason I ask is because this time it's important not only to me, but to my family. Kat and I may not be married, but she is my family now, and seeing the Jedi affirm the darkness is no longer there, it would help to build the trust again. I might be asking a lot, but would it be open for them?"

[Satkia Beltrak]

"Focus on your trial for now." Satkia simply replied to his inquiry about his students and his lightsabers. As long as Judah hadn't gone through this and the result remained unknown, a lot was still up in the air. And regardless of how much progress he had done in his recovery and the strong faith she had in him, the redhead didn't want to rush in planning what would happen next.

"You're welcome." Satkia replied with a smile when he thanked her for the input she had offered him. She considered his question, regarding Katara's and Sasha's presence the day he would eventually be promoted. "Since they are your close family and that Katara is with the New Republic, their presence should be no problem at all."

[Judah Lesan]

"I knew you were going to say that," Judah said with a chuckle as he lifted his cup for a final sip.

He refilled his cup and pulled it to his hands as if they were cold, though they were not. The Knight was mechanical on his right arm from just below his elbow, and while the work was done to help him feel, sometimes he could not discern subtle changes.

"I am a bit nervous about all of this. I'm just supposed to do this thing, no clue as to what I'm going to face, and know what to do. Time will tell I suppose. Funny thing is I'm antsy too. I know patience is key, but a good part of me is ready to see the end of this chapter and the beginning of a new one."

Judah looked to his master once more.

"Please tell me it gets easier to be patient?"

[Satkia Beltrak]

"You're not given a roadmap before a trial. I've faced a few in my time and helped others going through theirs. In the end, you're alone, but all the people you have in your life and all your past experiences are in your heart and mind and help you through this." Satkia's mind briefly wandered back to her own trials. Some had been formally organized, others had happened without a warning.

"Taking things one at a time. I know I'm repeating myself, but I do mean this. That's one of the most important lessons I've learned in life. And you heard enough of my stories to know that I used to be quite the hot head and that I did reckless things in my younger years."

When he asked her to tell him it got easier to be patient, she burst in laughter. "Sasha is going to make you a much more patient person. Parenthood does this to you. My own patience had already begun to increase when I took students, but the day I became a mother was a game changer, including for my patience."

[Judah Lesan]

"I'm sure she will, but as it stands right now, I donn't get to see either of them as often as I would like."

Judah sighed and took a sip of his tea.

"This trial came at either the most inopportune time possible, or the best. I'm not sure which yet. That last major storm we had meant I couldn't make it back to the compound. I was forced to stay at Katara's house on the lake," Judah said the last bit with so much sarcasm that anyone would know he actually was glad the storm rolled through. "Red and I kisssed for the first time since I've been awake, I mean really kissed. Then her response to the letter I left her with how rushed things were with the summons to get here. She finally admits the feeelings are there, and I had to leave."

Judah was rambling, but Satkia knew Judah was one to think out loud a lot.

"At least I know if I pass, her trust will be restored. It's the final thing she's waiting on, and has pretty much told me so. I don't blame her either. With the way I had been, I wouldn't want that around my daughter. Satkia, I have to pass... if not for me, then for them."

[Satkia Beltrak]

"I understand. While I share a house with Maize and Rya, being away from them is always difficult for me. We still travel for our respective occupations, but... I always miss them a lot when we're separated." Satkia admitted. She couldn't wait to return to Corellia. She wanted to be with her husband and daughter again.

"Timing is what it is. The most important things that happened in my life came at weird timings, ones that could have even looked as the most inopportune. There is gold to be found in dirt."

She looked at Judah as she refilled her now empty cup. "I am glad that Katara and you are able to build something together." She remembered how she had felt so confused and unsure of her place as a Jedi after the events of Dathomir, when Vega had betrayed them. She had left for Corellia, needing time for herself, maybe getting a house. For the enth time in years, she had stumbled into Maize and it was during this trip they had turned their long friendship into something more.

"You can pass, Judah. I can't tell what will happen, I can't tell whether you will actually pass or not. But one thing I know is that I have faith with you. You have come a long way, you have shown patience both with others and with yourself."

She reached out and rested her hands on her friend's and pupil's forearms. "Trials can seem like an endless tunnel. They can seem confusing. If you have the Force, the Light side with you, you can get through this. Don't stop being patient, dedicated and trusting in the Force. You can pass." In the end, this was all up to him, but she knew that his success was a solid possibility.

"Some think that the Jedi Code is just words, but this mantra encloses all the answers we seek, all the direction we are looking for. This teaches us accepting all there is within us, the good and the bad. We aren't perfect and we hold this imperfection with us, but we can choose beyond the threats, beyond the scars, beyond any darker part of us that will always remain."

[Judah Lesan]

"I have truly learned otherwise. The code was the one thing which kept from turning on Dathomir."

The memories of that day rushed in his mind, and Judah reached for his left hand where the four fingers had been removed. Razielle had only let his thumb remain. He felt the pain ripple through him all over again as he mentally relived each instance of the flesh and bone being torn from his hand. Closing his eyes, Judah shook his head slightly to push the thoughts from his mind. A long breath came from his mouth and the tea cup was soon against this lips to buy time.

"Have I ever told you how close I was," Judah asked, "how close you came to losing two students that day?"

He knew what Satkia would say, she had said it before. Though Judah came back hurt she reiterated several times how proud she had been of him for returning. The fact he allowed himself to suffer until a moment to escape was found had proven Judah's commitment to the light. Judah had indeed looked the dark side in the face and rejected it. He would do it again, over and over again.

"She is your nemesis isn't she?"

The question came more as an observation, but it was given regardless.